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I went to a Joe Dispenza retreat expecting a nice spiritual getaway and instead spent the first three days complaining, smuggling eggs, and telling my husband “this is not fun.” What happened next changed everything for my business and personal life.

This experience broke me down completely before building me back up into someone I barely recognize – in the best possible way. I’m sharing the messy, vulnerable truth about what happened when I was forced to sit with myself for longer than I ever thought possible, and how it’s transformed every aspect of my business and relationships since coming home.

Key Takeaways

• Why I now believe meditation beats every other personal development tool – and how 35 hours of practice unlocked a completely different way of being
• The energy management principle that transformed my business – where your attention goes, energy follows, and why this changes everything about manifestation
• Why I’m questioning popular healing methods – my honest take on breathwork, trauma healing, and why focusing on your future self is more powerful

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READ THE EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Emily Hirsh: 

In my like timeline of my life. This event is the biggest catalyst I believe, to what’s next. This is an opportunity for you to sit in the discomfort of something that you’re not good at, you don’t feel like you wanna be at, but you know you should be there and see what happens. Meditation is. The most powerful tool we have available to us, the most transformative thing you can do.

There’s a power in not reinventing what our ancestors already know. This was the most life-changing week I have had yet.

Hello you guys. Welcome back to the podcast. We are gonna have a casual chat today. I am going to record the episode that a lot of you have been waiting for. I’ve had a lot of dms about and clients even on our bonus coaching call last week asking for this episode, which is, I guess my recap after my Dispenza event, the most life-changing thing that I’ve done yet, and I’ve been waiting to record it for a few reasons, and then I realized today.

You need to just record it because one, I was waiting until after the event and I could integrate a little bit and process so that I could talk about it in a more constructive way. But then I was waiting for me to have this like list of takeaways and organize it for you guys. And I, I don’t think that’s the best way for me to deliver it.

So I’m like, you’re just gonna record it because you already know. And that’s what I’m gonna do today. So. This will be a, I want this to feel like a casual conversation versus a really structured, I’m presenting this episode because I really want, I want it to feel like a heart to heart, even though I am by myself in the studio talking about it.

Also, I feel like in every interview that I’ve done, some haven’t been released yet, but some have. I’ve talked about. This event and the impact on me and kind of what I’m doing in my life now because of it. So I sprinkled some of this in, but I’ll give you guys the full recap and some of my thoughts, some of my beliefs that have shifted how my retreats and events are gonna shift.

And of course, you know how, how you can take this and bring it into your own life and business if you want. It’s important to me that this doesn’t come across as like Joe Dispensa hype. First of all, that’s not what he wants with his work anyways. But second of all, it’s not really about that. Like, yes, he, he was kind of like a catalyst to a whole, not new way of thinking for me, but a whole new level.

All right, so I’m gonna first just tell you about the event as if we’re just chatting. Okay. So first of all, if you’ve been around for a while, then you know about a year and a half ago I went to, was it a year and a half? Maybe it’s been almost two years. It’ll be fall a year and eight months. I went to the Wild Woman Retreat and I did a podcast after that about Costa Rica.

It was probably like September, 2023. And it’s funny because. When I launched this video podcast and we did the party, some of you guys asked, I asked you what your favorite episode was, and it was that. It was the recap from Costa Rica that everybody remembered and it stood out for them. If you’ve been around then you know that that retreat was a huge catalyst for me and my own change in my own personal growth.

In summary, it took me from someone who was operating almost solely in the masculine and. Introduced me to the concept of the feminine ease, trusting yourself, your own wisdom, your own intuition. It was super powerful and it wasn’t even about necessarily like the specific things that happened at that event, although it was really powerful.

It was just an embodied experience for me that wasn’t like feeding me information that I, you could have told me a hundred times and I wasn’t getting it. It was the right time, the right thing. It was, it was something bigger than me was happening. And if you remember the story. I thought I signed up for an Ayahuasca retreat and didn’t read the sales page.

And then like a week before I was like, why aren’t we doing a diet? You’re supposed to do a diet before you go do Ayahuasca. Wasn’t an Ayahuasca retreat. It was the Wild Women Retreat, which was essentially everything I would never have signed up for. And of course, as the stories usually go in those situations, it was exactly everything I needed.

It was a huge catalyst for me, changed my life. I have not been the same person since then. It was a also a catalyst into starting my own retreats and my own events. When I signed up for that retreat, I really obviously didn’t read the sales page and wasn’t really like overthinking it. I just signed up. I just knew I needed to be there.

I had a friend at the time who was like, Taylor, who ran the retreat, you know, is embodying the things that you want to embody more in your life, get in her world, and I saw her put the retreat out and I signed up. Without even what I signed up for. So the Joe Dispenza event was similar. And what’s interesting is Taylor, who led the wild Woman Retreat, I had been in her world for a while, and at one of her other retreats that I went to, she had us listen to Joe Dispenza and she talked about how she had been to a Joe Depen event.

So I had that like seed planted in my mind that it could be a cool thing to do. And so. Hi. His events sell out in a day, Dispenza, and so I knew that the Cancun event was the one I wanted to go to because that one is like one of his most popular ones. The, the land is beautiful. You’re on the beach doing, I actually didn’t even know we were gonna do walking meditations, but you’re on the beach doing that.

So it was, it was February this year. The tickets went on sale. I had it on my goals list for the year to do a Dispenza retreat, and I told my husband like, let’s just book the tickets. I didn’t look at all what we were gonna be doing. I didn’t like, you know, read reviews or ask people, and everybody I talked to who had been just was like, it’s an incredible experience.

So I really had zero expectations going into this event, which is amazing. Like that I think is a key thing. I didn’t know what to expect in terms of what we were gonna do. I didn’t know. I didn’t know how we were gonna spend the days. And so I showed up to the event and Joe Dispenza, his thing is meditation.

It’s one of his things, right? So I knew we were gonna meditate. I did not know we were gonna meditate as much as we meditated. So we get to the event and I realize that we’re gonna meditate like five hours a day. And I was like what? That is not what I thought I was gonna sign up for. Okay. So the events have a lot of people.

There’s 2100 people from 77 different countries at the event, and it’s in an all-inclusive resort, which sounds really nice. But I don’t like buffet food and all inclusive resorts really that much at all. And so basically I went with my husband. You don’t think about the logistics of 2000 people going to an event and checking into a hotel until you get there and you realize it.

And it is just like, it was just crazy. It, it was like you go in a room to check in and there’s like 40 people in the, in the queue. The, you know, Mexico Hotel could not handle their systems to do this very fast. And so the efficient efficiency in me is like bitching a little bit. So the first three days of the event, I actually really struggled.

My husband has a lot of years on me with meditation practice. Like before we even met, he used to go to a Buddhist temple and he. Would meditate. He studied people like Eckhart Tole and masters. So for him, he’s like, no problem. I can drop in, I can meditate this much time For me, I’m like, the most I’ve ever meditated is 30 minutes.

And if I meditated for 30 minutes, that was like really great. So to drop me in and start meditating me for like one and a half start having me meditate for one and a half to two hours every session like two, three times a day, and. So the first three days I was struggling. I was struggling with the amount of people there.

I didn’t like it. I was struggling with the food and I was. Complaining about, I don’t have my hot water in the room, so I can’t make my tea and I don’t like the buffet food. And you had to like eat at the hours that they released you for meals. And so we would meditate at six in the morning, but breakfast wasn’t until nine.

And I was like, look, you guys, I’m an athlete. Like I need to eat. I cannot go three hours in the morning meditating and not eating. And so I would smuggle hard boiled eggs. From, I would put them into Go Cups from the buffet and bring them to my room because I was starving in the mornings, so I was just complaining about this and.

It was like the third day, and I look at my husband, like one of the meals, and I was like, is this fun to you? Because I was also getting annoyed. So Joe Dis spends it in his meditations. He has, you do what’s called, it’s called a kundalini breath. He doesn’t call it that. But basically you pull energy up from, from your root chakra all the way up into your head, and you like literally pull energy up your spine.

Well, I couldn’t do it. And we all know your girl doesn’t like when she can’t do something. So I couldn’t do that and my husband could, and I, so it was in my head and I wish I actually had it because I have in my journal, I wish I had it. I have in my journal, I wrote one day. I’m dying because also I couldn’t get my workouts in.

I didn’t like the hotel gym. I was just being like a human. I was just complaining. And so I wrote in my journal on like the third day, there was like a break that I went to the gym and I didn’t go back to the room until later. And so Peter was back there. My husband, I. And I wrote something like, I’m so annoyed and Peter can do this better than me.

And I’m telling myself stories about that. And, and then I wrote, this is an opportunity for you to sit in the discomfort of something that you’re not good at, you don’t feel like you wanna be at, but you know you should be there and see what happens. And I feel like it was after that moment and then the, the lectures that happened after that with Joe, that something shifted.

But I just think it’s important for you to know I. That this was the most life-changing week I have had yet by far, in terms of impact on my everyday life once I’ve come home and we’re gonna get into that. But my experience, the first three out of the seven days was I was complaining. I was like, I said something to my husband like.

Is this fun to you? I was like, ’cause this is not fun. Meditating five hours a day is not fun, is what I said to him. And I was like, I mean, I’ll do it. I will show up the rest of the week, but I am not enjoying this and I’m not going to another one of these events. I literally said that and then, you know, something ended up shifting.

But I think it’s important that you know that the first three days. I was up against an edge. I mean, I was, I was fighting, I was e everything I could find to complain about it, I would. I’d be like, oh, another meditation. You know, I don’t wanna go do it. But, but something to me knew. I just knew, first of all, like, I’m already here.

So, and that’s exactly what I did at Wild Women. It was like, I’m already here. I paid for this, so I’m gonna go all in, even though I’m really uncomfortable. And I was uncomfortable at wild women for different reasons, but that was kinda my mentality. And so I was there and I was like. I’m gonna go to every meditation.

’cause what, what’s the alternative That I go sit in my room, like, that’s lame. So I’m, I’m gonna keep showing up and I’m gonna give it my all, even though I feel like I’m doing this wrong or I’m doing this bad, which was the meditations and the breaths. And so anyways, I stuck with it and I think it was like the fourth day.

I don’t remember. So I’m gonna talk a little bit about the event. I don’t remember exactly like what happened that created this, but I think for me. For me personally and the the type of person I am. Why Dispenza was one of the reasons so impactful for me is he pairs logic and science so well with the spiritual, really challenging for the logical mind to grasp concepts and so he, every time you, so you basically do a meditation three times a day.

Like morning, take breakfast, come back, do it again. Lunch, do it again. The events are from 6:00 AM you start your meditation and one day at 4:00 AM until like 8:00 PM at night. Crazy. And I was so committed to my workouts. I was so committed to my workouts that I was like, I will not miss a workout. And so I was working out on the lunch break and then coming back a little bit late.

1. So he pairs every time before you meditate, he does a lecture. So he is teaching you the science and the logic behind what you’re about to do when you go to meditate. And for me, that was like. Okay, like I really can get behind this because he was explaining in a scientific, very clear way for me to understand, and not to mention that, but brain scans of people who are healing tumors and, and healing cancer and solving anxiety and PTSD and I don’t have those things, but like seeing it going, holy shit, like this is powerful.

So he did a lecture really around manifesting and the quantum field, and it was, it was on day four and it was really about how like creating anything you want, becoming that future version version of yourself. And he told some stories and essentially the concept of we are not our mind, we are not our body, we’re consciousness.

And I have never had it explained to me in such a clear way.

I remember going to lunch with my husband and I was like, mean to tell me

just consciousness. Become anything I want. Like there’s infinite possibilities in, in the quantum field and like it was just like all falling into place and I was like, okay, this is pretty cool. Like I can get behind this. And so that was really pivotal. And then I think on top of that, the meditations were starting to have a, a really powerful impact on me to the point where in a meditation, I mean.

I would completely leave my body. Like I, I was gone. I didn’t know, you know, where I was, who I was. It, it was a crazy experience multiple times. And so the whole week was 35 hours of meditating and about 25 hours of lectures. If you would’ve told me that I was gonna go to an event and meditate that much, I still would’ve gone.

’cause I like to push my comfort zone, but I probably would’ve been like, that’s insane. Like that is so many hours. But I am telling you, you don’t realize that it’s that long and you get to this place where there’s no time there, there’s no time and there’s no space, and you are. You are gone, so you, you don’t feel like it’s that long.

You have to get to that place, which requires overcoming the logical mind to get there. So after that day, the rest of the re the rest of the week, the rest, rest of the retreat just got more and more powerful for me. The meditation’s more powerful, the information more powerful. And just one of those experiences that you’re like, I’ll never be the same, I will never be the same after leaving here.

So I’ll kind of bring that to my takeaways. I have always resonated with Joe Dispenza’s teachings I have had prior to this very little experience in his actual content. Like I read his book a long time ago and I’ve done his meditations and I had a few downloaded that were like the 30 minute long meditations and I liked them, but I didn’t really understand the, what was going on in them.

And so going into this though, I think that something that that really relates and resonates with me, and interestingly, I’ve shared on here the tattoo that I have where I tattooed in my tattoo for letters, SBT and A, which is your feelings dictate your beliefs, which dictate your thoughts, which dictate your actions without me really realizing it.

That came from a Joe Dispenza concept because his whole. Not his whole, but like one of his big points is how you feel. The emotion that you put out is what you attract and you can’t actually receive or attract information or anything in your life that’s greater than your emotional state. Our emotions are dictating everything, and I’ve always resonated with that concept.

And I’ve always, like even before any of this, like naturally as a person, I believe that we are the creator of our life. I believe that we can have anything we want. We can do anything we want. We can be anything we want. I have. Really a lot of gratitude from my parents that instilled that in me of like, you want it, you make it happen.

And so that is also in alignment with Dispenza’s teachings. And so for me it was just like reinforcement of that and it was almost like such a reminder of what I already know. Such a reminder of like, Emily, you’ve done this, you’ve done this, and I’m gonna talk about this, but I think you not forgot it, but it got watered down in the last.

Five-ish years. So I love and value and support that concept of radical accountability to your, to your life. Because if we’re the creator of our life. For some people, I think that’s really hard to hear because if your life is, things in it are not happening the way you want them to or bad things are happening and you have to take accountability for what part did you play in that?

It’s hard to hear, but it’s also the most empowering thing to think because if you’re the creator of your life, anything is possible. Anything is possible. So I really instantly can drop into that. It’s not like a foreign concept for me. I didn’t have to fight and resist that very much. It was like a, oh yeah, you know, you used to do this so much more 10 years ago.

So I guess to summarize kind of my takeaways from Dispenza, okay, I’ll say this meditation. I think I have decided that meditation is. The most powerful tool we have available to us. I think that there’s a lot of tools out there and that there are a lot of options and things that can support with healing and support people.

I think meditation is the most impactful long term. So, what do I mean by this? When you meditate, you’re going into the present moment. That’s the purpose of meditation. You’re going into the present moment, which the present moment is the only real thing and is also the unknown. So our brains are wired, wired to either focus on the predictable future.

And so that’s how we spend all of our time thinking about the known past, the things we know and the things we did, and using that to predict the future. We spend very little time in the present moment. Meditation is basically, I don’t wanna say forcing, but like the whole purpose behind it is to be in the present moment, to be in the unknown.

And when you do that. When you go deep enough and as Joe puts the science behind it, your brainwaves slow down, which was so cool for me to understand because you can also relate this to kids. So your brainwaves slow down when you’re in meditation. I. Adults live their lives in beta brainwave, which is a lot faster pace.

Kids at different ages live in alpha and theta, which is slower brainwaves. When you meditate, your brainwave is slowing down. When your brainwaves slow down, you are in more of a creative space. You’re not in that logical space where you’re overanalyzing. You’re thinking about the past. You’re thinking about the future, and that’s when your connection to source can happen and does happen.

And so I have done different psychedelics or I haven’t done ayahuasca, but medicines, and I’ve realized this meditation, plant medicine, psychedelics, EMDR therapy, breath work, it’s all taking you to the same place. It’s taking you to the truth, which is. We were created from source, whatever you wanna call it, whatever you believe.

I know, because I’ve been beyond now many times. We were created from, from love, we were created from unconditional love. And that’s the only truth that there is. And I, I know and, and, and believe that that source, the creator, God, is within you. It is not an external thing. When you go in these states, you’re brought to that truth and not like, let me tell you this, on this podcast, you can understand, but an embodied knowing and what it feels like is the reality and the realization and the truth that we are nothing, meaning I am not Emily Hirsch, that’s I’m in the body.

Emily Hirsch of the identity of Emily Hirsch. I have a personality, Emily Hirsch, but my soul is not Emily Hirsch and it’s not my ego. So we are nothing in that sense. And we are everything, we are all connected in a unified field. And I know, like, I’m sorry if this is getting too woo, hang with me. Okay. If, and if you, if you can’t receive this yet, it’s like your system is not there yet and that’s okay.

There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re on your own path. This is my experience. So all of these things, meditation, mushrooms, buffo, ayahuasca, breath work, they’re all taking you to that truth. Like that’s the truth that, that your soul came into agreeing to be a human. You, you kind of forgot. And I’ve done, like I said, some psychedelics.

I’ve done bufo, which is five M-E-O-D-M-T. I’ve done it four times and it blasts you off. I didn’t ever talk about it on the podcast ’cause I don’t know, it just didn’t feel important. It blasts you off in, in less than one minute you are gone and you are in another dimension and you, you have no idea who you are or where you are.

Like literally look down at your body. You have, you don’t know what’s happening and it can actually be really terrifying. But if you can get through the walls that your ego fights letting go of that truth and, and the control, you come to this beautiful realization of infinite love and how much love there really is, and that like, it’s like all of our, our worries in this human dimension or like nothing, right?

You and you realize you don’t have anything to worry about and you realize this truth. But then you come back and it, it’s challenging to integrate it. It’s possible, but it’s challenging because you didn’t have to work to get there, and you don’t know what the hell happened after it happens. Like your body is like, what the fuck did you just do to me?

Okay, in meditation, you’re going to the same place when you get to there and you can, and it’s not that challenging. You gotta overcome yourself, but you have to work to get there. You have to overcome the layer after layer of your brain going, we can’t, we can’t sit still like this. We’re not good at this.

What about this? What about this, what about this? And fighting that. And you have to overcome it. And it’s a much more paced experience. So once you get there and you have that experience and you have that truth, I feel it is so much easier to bring it into your everyday life. Whereas the things like plant medicine and all these tools, they’re not bad.

Like they can be helpful obviously when used in the right setting and, and respectfully. I just don’t know how much of a long-term impact they can have. When you compare it to, to meditation, and I’m not gonna say there’s, you know, one right way. I, I think where I’ve landed with this is there’s all these tools available.

We have to choose what is the, the, the most and best one for us right now in the season that we are in. And I think sometimes, like the season that we’re in, you know, plant medicine might be the right tool and then you might graduate from that and, and meditation might be more the right tool. There is not one right way.

I think that also it’s important to look at the ancient practices that. Have been around for centuries and centuries and centuries, and meditation is one of them. We have to go all the way back to Buddhism, which is very ancient meditation, and using the breath, Kundalini breath. There’s a power in not reinventing what our ancestors already know worked.

So I’m gonna talk about something that I had to grapple with a lot during this week. But before I do that, let me wrap this up. I am now of the belief

that meditation has the ability to be the most transformative thing you can do and a, and it’s like a real meditation practice. Since I have been home from Dispenza, I’ve meditated two to three hours every single day. And I’m gonna talk more about that as well, because when you meditate for 35 hours.

It’s like a bootcamp and you’re like, oh, a one hour meditation. I mean, a one hour meditation for me right now feels like nothing. And I’m telling you, I can’t wait until my next meditation because that feeling of no space and no time, and no one and no thing, and the truth and the infinite love that I can get to in that, in that meditation and every, and it just gets better and better.

Why would I not wanna do that twice a day? Like it’s incredible. I guess I’m encouraging that you explore a meditation practice and you’d be willing to do that. And, and I, I, I think it does, it just doesn’t get it. It just doesn’t because it’s so challenging. People don’t take it as serious as I think they could because it’s freaking powerful and it is not just sitting there for 10 minutes, and I mean, that’s a start, but a deep meditation practice.

You need time to get your brain in those lower states and to get that access, that information, and to tune into the field. So at the event, there’s so many things I wanna, there’s so many things I wanna say. Okay. At the event, there was one concept that kept coming up that I really struggle with, and I’ve talked about it a little bit on the podcast since with some guest experts.

But Dispenzas entire model, I guess, is focusing on the future. Who do you wanna become and who do you have to be for that to be a reality? And I’ve, I’ve always believed this, right? If you’ve been in my world, you know, I teach the perfect day exercise all the time at my events, which is what’s your perfect ordinary day?

Who is the person living that day and now become that person? So I believe, I think, I mean, I absolutely think that’s true. That’s manifestation. I think you have to become the future, CEO, the future mom, the future version of you in order for it to become your reality. Something Dispenzas really drilled into me during this was where your attention goes, energy follows, and so throughout the week I was really grappling with some of the practices that I previously utilized a lot such as breath work, somatic work, and, and not that I don’t think somatic work is powerful, but here’s what happened. Sacred Rage from about Wild Woman to Dispenza. I feel that my journey was learning how to get out of your mind and into your body. Learning how to listen to my body to be in tune with my body. Your body is the subconscious mind.

Your brain is your conscious mind. 80% of all the signal to your brain is coming from your body. But subconscious and a lot of people never tap into that. And you know, prior to my journey of somatic work and learning to listen to my body and tune into my body and what that means, I would ignore my body all the time.

I didn’t even know how to tune into that like I was so in my logical masculine mind. I think that breath work and somatic work was a very necessary part to teaching my system that, and so therefore I am a proponent of it. I think it has a place, I think it is supportive and I think our body carries a lot of wisdom.

The piece that was. Made clear to me at Dispenza that I don’t feel like I was clearly embodying. Even if I knew it, I wasn’t embodying it before then, is the concept that we are not our body, we are not our mind, which I knew we’re also not our body. And I think that for me personally, this was my experience.

Not saying this is everyone’s experience. The somatic work caused me to put too much attention on my body. And take it for truth. And where your attention goes, your energy follows. So I started sitting with this during the event and I was like, okay, but if I am focusing on this past version of Emily who felt like she wasn’t loved or was sad or.

I felt like she’s not okay. Like things that would come up in, in somatic sessions, I’m more angry then I’m putting my energy into the emotions that I don’t wanna experience. And dispenza, you’re telling me that I can overcome those and choose the emotions I wanna experience. So is that level of somatic work and the way that it is oftentimes experienced, actually helpful.

And it re, it really kind of like shook me. And I’m still, I still have had a lot of conversations about it since I’ve been home because I’m like, how does this fit in? And how do I want it to fit in with my retreats and my events? So here’s where I’m at with it. I want to create the most lasting and impactful change for people.

Meaning if I facilitate an experience. I don’t want them to just have a good experience and then leave. I want them to leave and be a different version of themselves when they walk out the door and be able to maintain that version because that’s challenging. It is so much easier to fall back into programming.

And so I realized I think there’s something missing. I think that when you look at all of these somatic practices, which let me make sure I’m clear. Tuning into your body. Super powerful. Even in Dispenza’s meditation, he has you doing Kundalini breath. Your breath is the one thing that can bring you out of your mind and into your body, and that is what you want, but you’re not gonna become your body.

You can overcome your body. And that was the key. That was the piece for me personally that was missing. It was like our body knows the answer. Our body is so wise, which is true, and we’re not our body. We can choose to overcome that. And if our emotions are dictating everything that’s happening in our life, then don’t we wanna focus on the emotions that would be creating what we wanna create.

So seriously, I got home, I called Samson, who I’ve had on the podcast, and I’m like, I’m really struggling with this. I talked to my husband for hours about it and like really have wrestled with it. And here’s where I’m at with it. I think that everything has a place. I think that breath work in the format of 45 minutes or more of breathing in a way that is going to stir things up in your body can be absolutely helpful to release stored emotions.

And sometimes we, a lot of times we have emotions stored in our body that we. We don’t even know are still there. Our body remembers everything. It has an imprint of all of that that’s happened. So I think that can be very helpful. So I, I think that breath work and somatic work and, you know, therapy like A MDR and internal Family Systems and all these things, I think they all can be helpful.

And I, and I don’t think they’re bad. I don’t think there’s a negative thing about them because it can only be a positive thing to help someone. Overcome, not overcome an emotion, but put awareness on an emotion, feel it and release it out of their body. Make room for the next thing like that. That’s great.

Internal family systems is a, a therapy method where you go back to, you know, you as a child and you connect with them, and then you heal them. Okay. If the intention is. To become the best version of yourself, to have the most impactful change and to actually change who you are. Grow who you are, which is my intention.

Maybe that’s not yours, but my intention is literally to be a different person in a year than I am today. Because I wanna grow. I wanna grow. Not that I, I’m not happy with who I am today, but through my life experiences, through the fact that life is my initiation through these experiences. I wanna grow and I wanna evolve.

If that is your goal, then you have to overcome the emotions. And I don’t believe that you can overcome the emotions just through breath work or just through internal family systems, because those modalities put all the energy on the past. Now, breath work doesn’t put all the energy on the past, but it stirs up the emotions you don’t wanna feel, and then it stops there.

There needs to be a next level of who’s the future of you. Who’s the dream? You? How do, how do you want to feel? What are you going to tell your system as how you show up? And I, I personally love, I think Dispenza gets some I don’t know, like Slack or whatever you call it, slack, for being like too hard.

He talks a lot about as if your body’s an animal, you’re gonna tame the animal. Okay? When, when your mind is going. Oh, this person did this to me and this happened, and this is, I’m so sad about this. And when I was a kid, this happened and dah, dah, dah. You go, no. This is how we’re gonna show up. This is how we’re gonna feel.

And you focus on that feeling and you can literally change how you feel in your body. And again, our thoughts, send the signal out, our feelings, draw it in. We’re like a radio frequency as humans. So if our emotions are sending out a signal that’s drawing in things equal to our emotions and we spend a lot of time focused on past anger, past sadness, past trauma and emotions, we don’t wanna feel, what are we creating more of in our life?

So. How does it change my retreats? I still will have breath work on my small retreats. I at this time don’t feel aligned with a breath work session with 20 plus people. I think it’s too much energy and potential for anger, trauma, sadness to be in a room. And I think it’s more impactful to do something.

More in alignment with the the Joe Dispenza meditations. It doesn’t have to be Joe Dispenza, but a meditation that is focusing on how you, yes, your body and your breath in that moment, but also being in the present moment and creating the real reality you wanna create. Drawing your body to that reality.

So yeah, some things are gonna change in my events. This will be a, this will be a core piece of it because I think it is, I know it is the most impactful thing for people. And I have spent, so I’ve been home for 30 days. I have spent two to three hours a day in meditation. I have been consuming. More content than I have probably ever in my life of Dispenza, of Wayne Dyer of other experts in this space because I want to be able to integrate it in my own way in my events.

And what I realized is one of my purposes is, is to become a master. Is to become a master so that I can have that impact on others. And I am 100% in the game of mastery. And in order to be a master, like I’ve gotta be committed. So I’ve not missed a morning. I’ve not missed a night. I, I really believe that we get to be this leader and we get to walk through this and then impact others with it.

And so it’s been an incredible experience. On this note of the big shift that I had, I, I feel like this was, for me, like a next level. It was like, okay, you’ve spent this time, the last several years focused on the somatic, focused on connecting to your body. Now you get to focus on creating your, your dream reality and taking that knowledge of acknowledging your body because you can’t bypass the body.

And that’s something Samson said to me when I called him, was like, you know, where does this come into play of like allowing yourself to feel the anger and feel the sadness. And he said, you know, sometimes. It’s great to think about the future self and change your emotional state, but you can’t bypass the body.

And sometimes people have such blocks that they can’t get past that in order to make the change, which that makes sense to me. So I think having like the first step is awareness. The first step is being able to see the things that you do and how you operate and the emotions that you have that are subconscious.

And becoming aware of those, which when you meditate, you’re sitting in the present moment and you’re becoming aware of things like your thoughts and emotions that are emerging, and you’re choosing not to become them, you’re still acknowledging them. You are not shoving them down. You’re not forcing them not to be there.

You’re acknowledging them. You’re just not becoming them. So then step two is then saying, I’m acknowledging those and I’m gonna overcome them. And that is so powerful. So since I have been back and integrating this in my life, I mean it’s impacted everything. It’s impacted every relationship. My entire business just.

I know this sounds crazy, but I, I literally feel like I’m in a different reality after coming home, and I, I do think, I think I, I think energetically I am putting off a different energy after going to this event and now through all this meditation, and it has created so much synchronicities in my life, but also just such a state of joy.

And I intentionally used the word joy versus happy. Because you can still be in a state of joy and be dealing with a, a hard situation, joy, creativity, inspiration, gratitude. Like every, I’m like, I actually feel like I’m starting to annoy people because I’m like, so just in love with life. I got home from the event.

And a lot of what Joe has you do in meditation. His open your heart. So, you know, those 2000 people that the beginning of, of the event, I was really annoyed with all the people and the ones who’d be loud in the meditation that I thought needed extra attention and, you know, all the judgment. And I just started to open my heart.

How could I love that person? How, how could I send that person love from my heart? And I did that so much and I, I. Really stopped all the judgment for myself, for other people. And I got home and I told my husband, I was like, I actually don’t think I could hate somebody if I tried. I couldn’t. It’s like it’s not in me.

The energy is not in me right now. And I’ve had moments where I might be frustrated at someone or mad at someone, and I stop myself and I actually say. I’m gonna send them love, because what I’ve realized too, I’ll, I’ll talk about this. What I realized is when you, when you are in a state of anything such as frustration, anger, gossip, complaining judgment, your energy, right, your energy is in that, that vibration.

And when you’re. Let’s say frustrated or angry at someone, and you’re spending your time going, can you believe that this person did this and dah, dah, dah, dah? You’re literally taking your powerful energy and you’re giving it to them, and it’s not hurting them. It’s hurting you. And so I have, you know, I situations in my life like.

There are people in my life, there is one in particular who I see a lot who I feel before this I would’ve said as a pretty narcissistic personality. And I struggled and I would catch myself having an interaction with that person and then going to a friend or my husband and saying, can, can you believe that they did this today?

Right? Like as we do as humans, like. I mean, I guess gossiping, but not really. Just complaining. Complaining. And so now when I see this person, sometimes the emotions still come up or they’re like, oh, I don’t wanna see this person type of feeling. And I literally close my eyes if I can, or in my head, and I go, Emily, open your heart.

Find the gratitude. I feel it and I feel like, okay, yeah, like there are things I can find gratitude for for this person. I can also send them love because probably the reason that they’re acting like that is because they’re not happy and I am gonna send them so much love and hope that I. They can shift their state and it just, it just works.

I’ve had situations with an employee that I was so frustrated and I started to fall into that state of like, what an idiot, and can you believe this? And like that low level communication with someone else about it. And I stop myself and I’m like, sometimes I’m literally like, Emily, you’re gonna sit here in this meditation and you are not going to get up until you feel gratitude, until you can feel love for that person.

And it’s not that hard. It’s actually not that hard. So when I came home, you know, I just, I can’t feel that anymore. I have not one time engaged in gossip. I can’t, I’m like, no. And I like, I actually like to say, I mean, I don’t gossip a lot. I would’ve said that before. I really don’t at all. But you know, like sometimes you’re in a group of people and something comes up and then you’re like, oh my God.

Yeah. Can you believe that? I cannot, I will not engage with it at all. Complaining. Complaining. I can’t, I’m like allergic to it now. Even to the point where like sometimes there’s people at the gym who will be like, I think I’ve talked about this on the podcast. So there’s people at the gym who, who will just be like, oh, that’s such a stupid, you know, workout.

Or Can you believe that? Move in the competition and da da da. And I’m like, Nope. Like I change it. I’m so grateful for this body. I am so grateful that I can do this workout right now and it is gonna be a challenge, but I get to put my body into that challenge and to move through it. And I love my body so much.

1. That’s what I say this to myself, I actually was like running, once I was doing a work, I was running, I was by myself and I was like, I love you body. Because what I wanna say is like, this sucks. I’m dying. You know? So it’s changed. Like I can’t complain, gossiping any of that energy. Like I just, because I, I think I’ve maintained the meditation every day and I’ve maintained the state.

It’s made such a massive impact into how I show up and the response. I mean, the amount of synchronicities that have happened in my life in the last 30 days already of things just like falling in my lap, like a, a new hire that we needed, and it’s like the most perfect person or an introduction to somebody.

It’s crazy. It, it really does work when you are committed to tuning into that energy and. Another big thing is, is trusting the unknown. I think that’s something that I didn’t fully understand until I went to this event. But the present moment is the only unknown. In the present moment, we don’t know what’s gonna happen, right?

That’s why our brain doesn’t like it. The unknown will never let you down. The unknown is where. Infinite possibilities exist. And so I’ve been really intentional with being present in the like, mundane, day-to-day things so that I can be open to the unknown. An example was yesterday we took the kids to we had to get passports and we had to go downtown and it was a different part of town that we weren’t in, and we walked out and across the street it was like dah, dah, dah candy shop since 1885.

And Peter was like, that’s a weird shop. And I’m like, let’s go in. Embrace the unknown. Like we never would be like, yeah, let’s go in a candy shop. Like we’d be like, let’s get home. We gotta go make dinner. We’ve been gone like we’ve been in a passport office. And I was like, let’s go into the candy shop. And the kids were like, what?

Can we get candy? I’m like, yeah, sure. We can get a piece of chocolate or candy. It’s just like a little thing that made that day so much more special. And your soul craves that. Our soul is here to experience. That is why we chose to be into this, in this human experience, is to experience all the spectrums of it.

And our brains want this predictable, do the same thing every single day routine. So that’s another thing is like I’ve been really embracing the present moment, embracing the unknown. The manifesting is really fun. I have, I’ve had my kids in on it where like they’ll lose something and I’ll be like, all right, there’s a possibility in the quantum field that exists that you can find this thing.

You gotta make it happen. And they love it. They love it so much. So this, this is in my like timeline of my life. This event is the biggest catalyst, I believe, to what’s next. I think it unlocked such a new level for me because it took that concept of connecting to my body and all the somatic work and coming back to myself and my truth, and understanding that the truth is within and, and my intuition and my inspiration and the feminine energy and all of that.

And then it also allowed me to see and remember, because I knew this, but remember that I’m the creator. Of my goddamn life and anything is possible, and every single morning I get to wake up and choose who I am. And Joe says like, you can be any character you want. You are like, basically that is what we are, we’re characters in a virtual reality game.

We get to choose. We get to choose who we show up. And then when you get in that meditation, you put the character down, you put the personality down, you let go of all that and you become nothing. It’s so beautiful. I promise I won’t make people at my events meditate for five hours. I didn’t even talk about that.

We did it. So at Dispenzas on like the second to last day, you did the penial gland activation. Wild. Like wild. It was five hours long, but you don’t know it’s that long. So it started at 4:00 AM and you’re like. He starts it at 4:00 AM because he wants you to be in a state of high melatonin production.

And so you’re in like a lucid state. You, you’re in meditation, you’re going from sitting up to laying down to getting up. You’re like, what is happening? You are looking at a kaleidoscope and people have like mystical experiences that can be the same as psychedelics, all from your penal gland producing the molecules.

It’s, it’s insane. It, it was so cool. It was, it just like the whole thing, and I didn’t talk about the coherent healings. I mean, there’s people that go to these events. This sounds crazy, but I watched it. People that go to these events and come in in a wheelchair and stand up and walk and they hadn’t walked for 20 years or, you know, have cancer and they heal the cancer through the energy healings and, and like a big thing is that it, that it shows you is we’re, we are so powerful.

We are so powerful and we have been brainwashed and programmed to believe that we are not. But if you knew. When you know the amount of power that you hold, you never forget. Last thing I wanna say, because I didn’t mention this yet. Dispenza as an entrepreneur was very inspiring for me as well. First of all, he’s a master.

He is a master at what he does with no ego. It’s not about him. He doesn’t want it about him. Like when you watch him, you’re like, oh, you have done the work. He’s 63 years old and I told my husband. I got 33 years. And if I’m like that when I’m 63, like I will be thrilled when I’m like that because he has done the work to be able to have such a massive like global impact and have no attachment to it from his own ego.

And you can tell, like you can tell when there are the people who have built the platform and it becomes about the money and the fame and the impact for their own ego. For him, you can tell second. He hosts these events, I don’t even know, like eight times a year. There’s so many. They sell out in like a day.

2100 people from 77 countries coming to this event, selling out in a day, $5 million for this event and just like effortless. Okay, so inspiring. Third, he is obsessed with what he does. He is so passionate about it and it’s infectious. When you listen, you’re like. Oh, this is your life’s work. Like since you were a kid, you’ve loved this.

And I could only hope that that is my continued path, is having something that I love so much and continue to teach and impact with because it is infectious. And I, in the event I had this conversation with Peter, because obviously Dispenza is extremely successful, right? And I was like, you know, one of the keys is to be obsessed with what you do.

And when you look at. Elon Musk, when you look at Alex, her Moey, when you look at Dispenza and these extremely successful people in all versions of the word monetarily, successful impact their own growth. Okay? When you look at these people, they are obsessed with what they do. It’s not work. It is not work to them, it is their passion, and that’s so inspiring for me.

Just continuing to follow that. And the last thing is he’s really private. You can’t find the name of his kids, you can’t find where he lives. So he is got this massive global impact of work and he’s super private and I’m like that. That’s cool. When you come from a place of, you know, like digital content, digital marketing, like.

It’s possible. It’s possible that you can build that and you can also have your own private life. So that him as an entrepreneur was also really, really inspiring for me to watch him. And I mean, how much energy, oh, how much energy he puts out to create that event is great. I mean, to lead a five hour meditation for 2000 people, if you’ve ever put on an event, you know, the energy output of holding that energy and that space in a room.

And he’s doing 14 hour days, so inspiring. At 63 years old, he doesn’t look like he’s 63 and he’s in his purpose. He is so deep in his purpose. He is walking his talk. He is embodied, and it was super inspiring for me. So, okay, you guys, I’m sure there’s so much more I could say. I hope you enjoyed this. I hope you got something out of it.

I’m, I’m just really excited for the journey ahead. For me in my day-to-day life and also how that will come through in my work, and I’m always on the path of mastery so that I get to lead and show up a better version of myself tomorrow than I was today. Thank you everybody for listening in. I’ll talk to you next time.