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Do you struggle to balance it all as an entrepreneur?

Out of all the fears I experience as an entrepreneur, the one that keeps me up at night is not being present enough with my family.

In this episode, I share my daily tug-of-war between ambition and presence. I get real on why the pressure doesn’t really go away at 7 figures, and what I learned about thoughts vs actions that helps me relax and keep taking action.

Key Takeaways:

• The difference between having thoughts and letting them drive you—why those inadequacy thoughts show up at every level and how I’ve learned to take action despite them

• Building capacity to hold chaos—what it actually means to operate at 7-figures and why entrepreneurship is constantly expanding what you can hold

• My biggest fear about my kids— what I remind myself everyday to make sure I’m showing up

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READ THE EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Emily Hirsh:

If you have these thoughts of like, I am not capable of this, I can’t do this. Like, who am I to do this? I’m never gonna be successful. How are you gonna behave? You’re gonna behave like an entrepreneur who can’t do this. It’s our brain’s job to be like, let me tell you all the things that you could possibly be not thinking about that could go bad, so I can protect you so you don’t look bad because.

I don’t want you to hurt your ego. This is what I’m doing right now, and then here’s the next thing I’m doing and I’m ignoring literally everything else. As an entrepreneur, you are constantly working to build your capacity for the next level. Am I slowing down enough? Am I gonna look back and wish I slowed down?

More embodied CEOs don’t chase trends. They pave the way they lead from within. Moved by purpose, unshaken by noise. When you are the source, you do not need permission. Hello everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. I hope you guys are having an amazing week. Oh, it has been such a good week, such a busy week.

I really sat on what I wanted to talk about today. I did a more marketing strategy heavy podcast last time, and I really like these ones where I get to share. You know, just like my flow of thoughts and behind the scenes intel, and you guys seem to like them too, just around whatever I’m processing, whatever I am working on in my business, whatever’s happening, you know, that I’m learning from.

I think there’s a lot that we can learn from people in that way. So as I was sitting here thinking about what I wanted to talk about, one of the things that came up was I wanna talk about. The things I feel I’m not good at and I actually struggle with. That’s one piece because I think it’s so easy to follow someone and then think they have this all figured out and show up perfectly.

So I wanna talk about that, but I wanna tie that to, I think the things that we struggle with are also usually related to our greatest strengths and how I believe you can leverage both. And then I wanted to just share a couple of things because. Sometimes people say things to me like, oh, you know, I bet you don’t need any help.

Or like, you’ve got it figured out or like you’re great at everything. And I’m, and I always am almost like surprised when I hear that ’cause I’m like. If only you really saw, you know, and I, I try to show behind the scenes as much as possible. But I had this thought as I was driving today around, you know, all these things that at different levels we struggle with, but are very prevalent.

I think especially in the beginning of starting a business, like you never feel like you’re doing enough. You are afraid of, you know, am I gonna be successful? Am I capable of this? Can I do this? Those things like the, the almost imposter syndrome and the fear and the in fear, feelings of inadequacy, they don’t really go away.

And I think people definitely have in their mind, like, when I get to a level. Whether that’s six figures, a million dollars, eight figures, and I think the bar changes. But when I get to a certain level that that’s gonna go away. And the reality is it doesn’t go away. And I was thinking about this because the thought came into my mind today, and I realized like there are situations when I am in a room with business owners way ahead of me that I feel inadequate, right?

Like those thoughts come into my brain or moments where I feel like. I don’t think I can make it to eight figures. Like who the heck am I to think that I have no idea what I’m doing? Or even like, you know, I think, I think sometimes they operate as if like, you’re not successful yet. And I always check myself.

But the point being those are just thoughts. Those are thoughts that, that have created this feeling, they’re, they’re actually not reality. And so I wanna share that because I, for some people, they would look at my business and they would look at my life and they’d go, wow. Like she’s got the dream, she’s made it, and I’m still growing.

Like I have a lot more to do, a lot more impact to build, but. I have the, all of those feelings, those same exact feelings that I had when I started my business. So my point being, it’s not about are you having those thoughts and feelings or not, you still have them. You learn to not take them seriously. Or, and or you learn to take action anyways.

Like I don’t really give them very much attention, you know, and they’re like fleeting thoughts or things that come up, but they don’t drive my actions. And I think that. Is the difference, right? When you are starting your business from the beginning, and if you have these thoughts of like, I am not capable of this, I can’t do this.

Like, who am I to do this? I’m never gonna be successful. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not doing enough. I’m inadequate, I’m, you know, imposter syndrome. If you have those thoughts and then you allow those thoughts to drive your actions, how are you gonna behave? You’re gonna behave like an entrepreneur who can’t do this.

You’re not gonna make the decisions you need to make. You’re not gonna take the risks you need to take. You’re not gonna take the actions. Put yourself out there, get uncomfortable and do the things you need to do because you are operating as if you are not capable of doing what you wanna do. I still have those thoughts, and if I acted that way, I never would’ve got a podcast studio.

I never would’ve launched new products. Like I’m doing things all the time, that there are voices in my head going, who do you think you are doing this? So I share that because I want you to know that doesn’t go away. I have not solved that. I think it’s always gonna be there. I think it, I, I think it’s just our brain.

It’s our brain and it’s, it’s our brain’s job to be like, let me tell you all the things that you could possibly be not thinking about that could go bad. So I can protect you so you don’t look bad, because I don’t want you to hurt your ego. That’s the first thing. The second thing is I. Never feel like I have gotten everything done in a day.

Like I always somewhat feel behind, but I don’t even wanna say behind because it’s not like I am like, oh, I’m so behind. I, I need to catch up. Like basically I’ve learned how to live in a state where. I know there’s a bunch of people and a bunch of things that need my time and energy, and every day I just make the decision of where it goes, and I am radically strict with it.

Like. I think that if you like did a docuseries on me and you followed me around, that would be your biggest takeaway is like, I ignore a lot of things that most people give attention to because I, I don’t have a choice if I wanna do all the things I’m doing, if I want to show up all the ways that I’m showing up, so I don’t have this like, perfectly organized life.

Like in some ways my day to day can become very chaotic. To other people. To me it’s like normal chaos, but it’s not stress like I am fully grounded. It’s like this is what I’m doing right now, and then here’s the next thing I’m doing and I’m ignoring literally everything else. I am really known, and I’ve talked about this on the podcast, but like I am known for not checking email.

There’s someone in there making sure there’s nothing urgent, but like I will ignore it for a week because it’s not actually urgent. Just this week, like we had so much happening and. My team probably gets actually really annoyed at this because this is just like an example. This is where it crosses over into like a weakness sometimes.

But we had so much happening, so much to get this launch off the ground that we did. As I’m recording, it was yesterday so, so much happening and the podcast was something that had to, and it very rarely, but it had to fall down the list because I had a product launching and a webinar, and it was like I needed every minute.

I had to be fully prepared for that webinar, and so my team kept going like. Hey, do you have a podcast? Hey, do you have a podcast? And I just stopped replying because I’m like, I’ll let you guys know when I have the podcast recorded. And I know that we need to get this out on these dates, like it is in my mind.

But I’ve had to restructure and go, unfortunately, we’re at a point where that had to get dropped because you know, I gotta get the webinars tomorrow. That’s my only priority. So I do that all the time. And it’s not ideal. And you know what? I even had the thought of like, like, here’s an insider. I, my brain for one second was like, Emily, you preach consistent content and you’re not gonna go record your podcast.

And then I’m like. You’re teaching a webinar tomorrow filled with valuable content and a brand new training that you’ve never taught, that you’ve had to build from scratch. That’s priority. The podcast can have one this week and next week or whatever. So I share that because I want you to understand I don’t operate in this like perfect system and organized and template like there is.

Organized chaos happening, but I’m also not stressed. Like I, I’m telling you this week, for most people would’ve like sent them to the hospital. And it’s not even that I can just thrive in that high pressure. I can, but I have learned how to have such a capacity for that level of pressure and stress that I’m not stressed.

I’m just like. Here’s what I can do in this moment. It’s all I’m focusing on my non-negotiables, and that’s, that’s where we’re at. So I wanna share that behind the scenes. ’cause I really think it’s important that you see like that is actually how business is. And I don’t know a single entrepreneur, you know, successful entrepreneur that has, doesn’t have that level of stuff happening like that.

You don’t see it on the front end, right? Like if you would’ve come to my webinar, you would’ve had no idea how many hours I put into that and how hard I was grinding. To be ready for that webinar you know, on the computer in my car while my kids are in their class at CrossFit to finish that, because it was just, that’s just what needed to happen.

And again, I’m not operating from a place of free and thickness and stress like I am fully grounded, fully rooted, but there’s so much happening. So I think that’s important because I think you, you need to understand that, I think is the goal. I think the goal as you grow your business and as an entrepreneur, why?

Why a lot of people can’t be an entrepreneur and need to have a job is because they need to be told what to do and they need predictability and they need stability, and they cannot function in that like unknown quote, chaos. As an entrepreneur, you are constantly working to build your capacity for the next level, because the next level, it’s gonna be harder, it’s gonna have more pressure, more responsibility.

More happening and you have to hold that capacity. So the goal is not these like perfect systems and perfect SOPs and everything like sure they’re great systems and operations is great. Also hire a team that doesn’t operate this way so they can support you, which my team does and they do an amazing job.

But create more and more capacity to be able to hold that. And I think. That’s the goal, and people do not realize that until they’re in it. And then you’re like, what’s wrong? You know? It’s like all this, these things are always happening, and then what happens is you fall in this trap of like, oh, once I do this, then I can relax, take a vacation, whatever.

No. Like I’m leaving tomorrow to go to a Joe Dispenza quick event, and I just launched the biggest launch. Of the year, but I came in, I did what I needed to do. I’m gonna go to this event, I’m gonna fully unplug and I’m gonna be back because I’m not like, oh, once I, everything’s perfect and I launch and everything’s done and buttoned and you know, put a bow on it, then I can go, no, I’m going.

It’s scheduled, it’s done. There’s maybe a little bit of last minuteness to it. I, I literally don’t tell my husband this, but we’re leaving tomorrow and I just booked the hotel. I was like praying that there was still rooms. Otherwise I’d have to tell him like, I don’t know what happened, or I could have asked him to do it.

But those little things are just Emily, like Emily just does things last minute like that. Anyways. Okay. On this topic, what I wanted to talk about is the things that I feel like I don’t do well and I struggle with because I really want you to see like the contrast of this. Now, I made this list. When I look at this list, I sat down and I was like, here are the things I could do better.

And when I look at this list, I’m like, this all stems from my struggle of slowing down. Just my system is not wired to slow down. Never has been since I was a kid. Like I have just always been like this. And for a long time I thought it was, oh, it’s a trauma response or, you know, it’s, it’s something I needed to fix.

And in the last year I’ve been like, hell no. Like this is me. I thrive like this. Now there’s times it gets out of balance and then, you know, other things in my life might start to struggle, but this is who I am. So when I made this list, I was like, this is all stems from my, my struggle to slow down and my desire to pack it in.

Like I just want. The most extraordinary life. And I said that to, to my coach the other day. I was talking about, you know, how crazy my week was trying to get training in and, and everything happening. And he’s like, you know that, that’s like a good crazier, what did I say? I did something. Oh, I planned my flights on my last trip to be on my rest day and my active recovery day.

And I said, does that make me crazy? And he was like. A good, crazy. And I said, good, because I wanna be crazy. Normal means normal life. Like I don’t want a normal life. And so it, this stuff stems from the fact that I just, I’m like, I’m go big. Go big with training, go big with family and travel and experiencing life.

Like that is what I’m here to do. But anyways, this is what I could do better as a human. And this one is top of mind. I have a hard time with my social life. Like I have some really incredible friends that in a second I could meet up with, we could go to dinner, we could do something. I am really bad at prioritizing it.

It just constantly gets pushed to the bottom of the list. And I don’t know if it’s like, I don’t get very much fulfillment from, from like. A lot of social things like that because I know for me, like if I’m not doing something, it’s because I have made it not a priority. If I make something a priority like done overnight, it will become a priority.

I struggle with prioritizing. Pouring into friendships and actually like making time for friends. And I’ve told myself the story, like I don’t have time for it between training family and, and the business. I don’t have time for it. And so, I mean, I would say like I do something actually social. It doesn’t count like kids families, that’s different, you know?

But like my real good friends. Every three or four months. I do one thing. I don’t know if that’s normal or not. Maybe you guys also are like that, but I feel like I could do a better job pouring into friendships. I also struggle, this is actually a struggle that I think does impact my business that I have to try to do better on.

I’m in an industry with a lot of tech, right? Like things that you need to try and play with and understand around ai, and I’ve created, you know, AI and tech, but AI is really relevant. I’ve created a company that really runs without me, but there are just some things that I think when. Something happens or new comes out, it’s just beneficial that I understand it.

And AI was one of those things. And I feel like I took a longer time to try things like the app I built softwares on, or even chat GBT and like. Now I use it all the time, but I don’t. It’s because I don’t slow down enough to actually like learn something new. I can get stuck in a loop or a habit of like doing the same things every day in terms of the tech and the tools that I use.

And I’m just in an industry where we need to innovate that. And so I could benefit probably from some time that’s like, you have to learn, you know this. Spend a little bit of time learning this. And I think on the flip side, there are people who can waste a ton of time, you know, like learning and playing with new things.

I don’t slow down enough to even test or try or learn something. I just go straight to, I just skip it. I just keep doing the same thing. So that’s another thing. What else I could do better is probably not. Pushing my team on deadlines as hard as I enjoy to be pushed. However, I will say my direct reports are so like.

I wanna say used to it, but not in a way where they’re just like, this is how it is. Whatever. They understand that that’s like part of the magic. And I think I’ve built their capacity too, to just like thrive in the chaos and understand like, it’s all gonna be good. I’ve got you, but I could give us more space.

I could do a better job at that. Again, strength, weakness, right? Like my strength is like, here’s the deadline. It’s basically impossible and we’re gonna hit it. We do, we hit it. And that does create obviously pressure and I enjoy it and I can be fine in it, but sometimes employees don’t enjoy it as much.

So as you grow a big team, you’ve gotta protect them from that. And I think for me, the way I’ve protected my team from that is I only have three direct reports who really understand and are incredible and they understand the way I work. And so they can protect the rest of the team from this because CEOs can be destructive with this of like, everything’s going great.

Let me come in and drop a bomb and create some chaos and let’s work on this new project. And why are you guys stressed? It’s so exciting. CEOs are known for that. And so I, I, I could do better though. I could, I could give us some more space. As I’m saying that, I’m like, how would I do that though?

Because like we do plan stuff, we just have big goals and I don’t wanna lower my goals, so I may not be budging on that one. And then the other thing, I mean, this is like a lifelong, this is a lifelong struggle of mine. I put this on my Instagram the other day, which was. I was laying in bed at the end of the night laying with my five-year-old, just, you know, his head right next to me.

And, and I had this, the moment, these moments that I have where it’s just like, am I being present enough? You know, am I enjoying it enough? Am I slowing down enough? Am I gonna look back and wish I slowed down more? I don’t know. I don’t even know the answer to that. And this is like, I think it’s this like push and pull.

I’ve had my whole life of like, I wanna do so much and I have so many goals and so much I wanna accomplish and I want so much growth and it’s such a core value of mine and, and I go big in every area. Including my family, you know, with our trips and our experiences. And then there’s this part of me that’s like, but are you enjoying it fully?

Could you enjoy it more? Are you being present to it? Are you just slowing down? And I struggle to slow down every single day. I struggle to slow down and it’s, it’s just this. Tug of war inside of me. And there is the questioning of like, are you doing a good enough job? Are you gonna look back and regret this?

Honestly, my, my biggest fear in life, biggest fear that keeps me up at night sometimes that weighs on me, is to be, you know, 10 years from now and my kids are grown and I look back and I say. I wish I did this different. I wish I didn’t work as much. I wish I didn’t train as much. I wish I slowed down. And in the moment I feel like I do have a lot of present moments with them.

I never miss their sporting events like every evening, you know, from four 30 on and with my kids, I’m present. Do I do that perfectly? No. You know, I sometimes, sometimes I, I struggle to be present, but my biggest fear. That keeps me up is that, is to look back and, and regret how I spent the time on the years that I can’t get back.

And I have those thoughts daily and you know, I think it’s good that I have those thoughts because they drive me. To be aware of this. They drive me to be, to do better, to be more present, to have awareness, to have a standard to check myself with it, because I struggle with it. You know, if I didn’t have that fear and that awareness of that fear, I probably would be way less present.

You know, I could easily be on my phone in the evenings, but because I’m like, I so. You know, wanna make sure that I look back and go, I really enjoyed those years. I hope I do. But it, my fear is that I won’t, and you know, I, but, and I also think like no matter what, you look back and you go. Wow. You know, like it went so fast and you just, you can’t get it back.

But also at the same point, I can’t just sit there and stare at my kids all day, you know, like, they don’t wanna do that, I don’t wanna do that. Like, that’s also not reality. So those are the things I could do better. Those are the things that I struggle with that are my mental, my mental talk. And, you know, none of it is good or bad, it just is.

So I wanted to share this ’cause. I dunno. I think it’s, it’s good to have an inside view on my life and my thoughts and, and not have this image of like, once you get to a certain level, these things go away because they don’t, they don’t go away. They are always there. And I think you, you learn, you build the skill of learning how to manage the thoughts and manage the, the feelings and the beliefs, and then choose intentionally.

What dictates your actions? So, all right you guys. I’m headed to another Joe Dispenza, another Joe Dispenza event tomorrow. It is a short three day event for everybody who’s been to the bigger one, just like a little immersion. I’m excited. Be meditating a lot. I’m very excited ’cause since the event that I went to in.

May I have stuck with pretty much every single day my meditation practice, deep meditation practice, so I feel like this time I’ll get even more out of the event, but I’m going in no expectations, just fully present, ready to meditate, ready for the experience, and of course, grow myself for you guys, for my team, for my family, for my husband, been for  me. All right, everybody, I’ll talk to you next week.