→ Discover Ignite, our BRAND NEW program to build your marketing to $10K+ in record time. Get a CUSTOM strategy created, funnels built, and experts coaching you through implementation. Only 10 Founding Member spots left, the LOWEST Ignite will ever be: get.embodiedmarketing.com/ignite

How bad do you really want it? And do your actions in the last 90 days reflect that?

Today’s episode is spicy. I’m breaking down the subtle victim mentality we all fall into, why relentless action has been one of the biggest contributing factors to my success, and how to stop outsourcing your dreams and take 100% accountability for making them your reality.

Key Takeaways:

• Why evidence doesn’t lie—how to audit your last 90 days and see if your actions match how bad you say you want it (or if you’re one foot in and one foot out)

• The subtle victim mentality trap—how we blame time, money, kids, and circumstances when really we have the power to fix it and adapt.

• You are the 100% creator of your life—nobody wants to do the hard things but, if you embrace that, you become capable of achieving what others won’t.

 _____________________________________

More ways Embodied Marketing can support you:

If you’re ready to hand off your entire marketing strategy (from funnels to ads to copy) and finally get the expert team you can trust, apply here and let’s talk: helpmystrategy.com

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW THE PODCAST!

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Embodied Podcast! If this podcast has added value and helped you in your business journey, please head over to Apple Podcast, subscribe to the show, and leave us an honest review.

Your reviews and feedback will not only help us continue to deliver great, helpful content, but it will also help us reach even more amazing entrepreneurs just like you.

♥ LISTEN ON SPOTIFY

READ THE EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Emily Hirsh:

Today’s episode’s gonna be a little spicy. You have the power to fix this, don’t you see that? And I want you to think about those things that you really want. You think about them, you dream about them, you journal about them. How bad do I really want it? And what’s the evidence to show that nobody wants to do these hard things.

The people who are successful do them anyways. You. Are the 100% creator of your life. Embodied CEOs don’t chase trends. They pave the way they lead from within. Moved by purpose, unshaken by noise. When you are the source, you do not need permission. Hello everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. I hope you guys are having an amazing week.

I can’t believe it’s like almost holiday season. We’re finally getting. Our amazing weather in Texas. I am always happy when it’s like almost Halloween time, because that means fall’s almost here, even though it’s technically fall. Texas is usually a little behind. Today’s episode’s gonna be a little spicy.

I, I thought about creating a series. Maybe I’ll still do it or maybe I’ll just like sprinkle them in, but I thought about creating a series that was like Emily unhinged and I could just rant. Because you know, I can be really direct from a place of love. And I think sometimes people need that and like that about me.

So today’s is gonna be like that. It’s gonna be Emily unhinged and it’s gonna call you out on something. And I think even I need to be called out on this because it’s something humans do and it is directly related to business, but it’s also directly related to life in general. And okay, so, so let me explain something.

I think one of the biggest contributing factors to success in general and my success over the last 10 years when I look at it, is the relentless action that I’m willing to take and the mindset of, I’ll do anything it takes to create the success, even if it’s hard, even if I don’t really wanna do it. Re relentless.

Relentless with action, and. I had this memory, like when I think back as a kid, I would have some, not like immediate family members, but like cousins and and family members that were older than me and they would always complain about their life. Like they would complain about like where they lived and their job and they, they were like older.

I was, you know. 14, 13 and they were adults. And so I’m the kid here and they’re telling me like how horrible it is and they hate their job and, and they don’t like where they live and dah, dah, dah. And I remember I always thought like so strongly, I was always like irritated ’cause I was like. Then why don’t you get a new job?

Like, or change it or like do something different. Like I never understood, why are you sitting here telling me how horrible or how you don’t like something in your life, and why don’t you go change it? And as I got older, I would make friends and even in, in adulthood, like make friends and. People would do the same thing.

Like they would tell me, you know, not even in like a complaining way, but they would tell me how they don’t like their job or they’re exhausted or whatever. Like they wanna lose weight, they don’t feel good. They, you name it. Okay. All the spectrum of, of struggles that humans have. And I still would always feel like I would tell them, Hey, well, you know, like there’s other options.

You know, you could do this or you could do that. Like. You have the power to fix this, don’t you see that? And I would say that to them. And, and people would always be like, you know, and some people implement, but some, most of the time their response is like, yeah, you’re right. I know. Like I know that that’s what I have to do.

Or I know that if I did that it would change and then they wouldn’t do it. And when I was a teenager, like 16, 17, I had a, a job that I worked for my mom. And it was just in an office and like a lot of the other people, it was a company she doesn’t have anymore, but a lot of the other people in there, they would come to work, you know, nine to five, same thing every day.

They’d leave work, they’d go drink and talk about what they hated about work. And I, like, I would, I made friends with some of these people that were, you know, in their twenties and I was 17 and, and I would go hang out with them on the weekend and I would watch this and I’m like. This sucks. Like, why would you have this be your life where you, you’re just, you’re just showing up because you feel like you have to for a paycheck.

You’re not only that, like you’re spending your entire day doing something and then you’re spending your entire night complaining about what you don’t like, about what you just did during that day. And then you talk about dreams as if like, oh, that’d be nice, but I can’t have that. I’m always, and have always been so frustrated by this because to me it’s so obvious.

It’s like. You can change it. Like you can take actions. No one’s coming to save you. So this gets me thinking on something because I think we all do this. Okay. I have really spent a lot of time in the last year-ish thinking about how we love to be the victim and I think there’s like extreme Vic victim mentality that’s really obvious.

And then I think there’s like this hidden victim mentality that we convince ourselves is not, and we have all these like, excuses as to why, you know, we can’t do something or something’s happening or da da da. And, and here’s the thing, like it’s, it’s all a story. So I wanna talk about the deeper level because I don’t think most of you on here are.

The obvious victims. I think every single person falls into a, a, a subtle, hidden victim mentality at times in their life. So what I wanna ask you and then talk about this, is how bad do you really want it? And I want you to do an audit of your life, and I want you to think about those things that you really want.

You think about them, you dream about them. You journal about them. Those big dreams may, maybe it’s the revenue in your business. Maybe it’s a life where it’s quitting your job and it’s starting your business. Maybe it’s having a team so you’re not in the day to day of your business. Maybe it is. A lifestyle where you work 20 hours a week and do something else 20 hours a week, whatever that is, everyone has ’em.

And entrepreneurs especially are really good at dreaming those things up. And we’re also really good at believing that they can come true. Like we do believe that, or we wouldn’t be here because we consistently go, here’s a reality that doesn’t exist. I’m gonna go create it. However, the question is, how bad do you really want it?

So think about those things that you really want. And that you think about, and maybe you’ve wanted it for years, and then I want you to say, how bad do I really want it? And what’s the evidence to show that? So if you look at those dreams and then you ask yourself this question and you say, I want it really bad.

I think about this every single day. I want it so bad. Okay, can you find evidence in your actions that you want it that bad? Like, if you look at the last, and maybe your answer is yes. I’m not saying it’s not, I’m just challenging people here. If you look at the last 90 days of your life and you think about that dream, have you really gone all in in making it a reality?

Or are you like one foot in and one foot out or like, yeah, I’m, I’m in, but these other things have to fall into place first. Or, here’s why I can’t do that yet, because I can promise you. The people who want it more are gonna have it. And I saw this video from someone that was like, nobody wants to do some of the, the things that they have to do.

Like nobody wants to have to make 50 sales calls or whatever the, the thing is, like put in, put in a, a 12 hour day in their business because they’re in a season of that. Nobody wants to do these hard things. The people who are successful do them anyways. And the biggest lie we tell ourselves is that it’s supposed to be comfortable.

It’s supposed to be easy. Ease is different than easy. I talk about ease on the podcast. That’s different. Easy is like no work, no effort, whatever. The point of life I don’t think is actually to be happy. I think the point of life is to grow and evolve, and that means discomfort. That means challenge. That means facing fears.

That means doing the hard shit. So when you. Look at the dreams and then ask yourself, how bad do I really want it? And am I outsourcing this becoming my reality? Or am I taking 100% accountability for it to become my reality? And if I had to take a little more accountability, what would that look like?

Because I see this in entrepreneurs, I see this too much, where they go. I really want the million dollar business and I want the freedom. I don’t wanna have to work in my business you know, in the day to day. I want what you’ve built, Emily. But I don’t wanna do any live webinars and I’m not really willing to pay enough for a team.

I, I don’t want to, you know, talk to. People who didn’t buy and and have conversations. ’cause that sounds like too much work. It’s like, no. So you don’t actually want it. Because if those things are required to get you that success, then do them. I know you don’t wanna do them, but do you want the thing on the other side, on a personal level?

You know, I have a friend recently that I was talking to and they have a very packed schedule constantly. Like I’ve been their friend for a while, constantly like packed schedule. And they don’t like it. Like they not complain about it, but they’re like, I gotta do something about this. And, and my answer to them was like, well, what do you want more?

Like, do you want the other side of not having a completely overpacked schedule and too busy life and too many demands on you? Do you want that more than. Having to face and saying no to the people you’re gonna have to say no to and, and change around your life. And the fear of like loss of money and, you know, shifting around allocation.

’cause it’s possible, but how bad do you want it? And I ask myself this question all the time because I will, I will look at something that I will create and there will be the uncomfortable things. There will be the things I don’t, I’m like, oh, I don’t really wanna do that. Like I, I want, I don’t wanna do that, but I have to do it.

And it’s like, well, what do I want more? Do I want the thing on the other side? Do I wanna become the person on the other side of it? Do I wanna have this thing on the other side? Or do I wanna stay comfortable and happy in making the same decisions? What do I want more? And it’s that simple. And then it’s like, okay, it’s up to me.

I also think we fall into this very tricky victim mentality, and I. I’ve done it so many times where we blame things like, oh, it’s because I have, I have young kids, or, oh, it’s because you know, my team messed up, or I don’t have a team, I don’t have enough help. Or like, oh, once I get some clients, more clients, then I will have enough money to be able to do that.

And then that will become true. And while there’s definitely like logical logistical things lately. You know, I’ve been really challenging all those things. Like, for example, the thought of, oh, I have young kids and so therefore I can’t have a highly successful business. Not true. You can have both. And I was actually just I took my daughter to horseback riding and she does like a group lesson and one of the moms who I don’t know, sat down next to me and we were talking and, you know, I don’t know how exactly how it came up, but she said something like, yeah, you know you can’t really have successful career. Young kids eat healthy and work out all at once. And I looked at her and I’m like, how? How badly do I wanna do I do, I wanna challenge this? ’cause she, she doesn’t know who she’s talking to.

And I didn’t challenge it that hard, but I did say like, yeah, I know that’s, that’s most people’s belief, but I think you can like, and in my head I’m going, why the fuck not? Like, why can’t you have all those who says who made these rules? And so that’s what I always think. ’cause even I do it in my brain like.

Oh, I can’t have this and this, or it has to be this way or like that is, that is not normal. And, and it’s because our brain likes the predictable our, our brain likes to see that it’s been done before. And so when I do that, I challenge it and I go, well, who wrote that rule? Because I write the rules. And again, there’s logistical things, but any of those beliefs that you have, the problem is not that they’re true, it’s that you believe them.

So my challenge to you today is challenge every single one of those beliefs. If I were to sit down and ask you, where do you wanna be? Where do you wish you were right now? What are those dreams? What are those goals? I don’t care how big they are, what are, they? Don’t logically think about it. And then I ask you, how bad do you really want it?

And then I ask you, okay, what’s the evidence to support that I is? And again, your answer could be yes, you could be full out. Full send, making your dreams come true. And that’s amazing, but I think a lot of people are not and need to be called out for that. So if I ask you that, then where’s the evidence?

And then if I said, what are the beliefs that come up immediately after you say those dreams? Because they’re gonna be things like, I’ve got kids. I don’t have enough time, I don’t have enough money. Time and money are the biggest excuses. That’s why they’re the biggest objections and people you know, investing in your offer.

Because we convince ourselves that we live in a world of lack and we live in a world of scarcity because that’s usually how we motivate ourselves. I don’t have this thing, I don’t have enough, so we better do this to go create it, but I can’t because it’s too hard. It’s gonna take too long. It’s not possible.

Hardly anybody does it right? And our brain finds all those excuses. And I, I, I did this with CrossFit. When I started CrossFit, I was, I guess scared of, of, I got, you know, I felt like, oh my God, I thought this was gonna be easier. CrossFit’s like so hard in all the things you have to master, and I’m tall.

And so I convinced myself, oh, it wouldn’t, it’s not possible for me to be top in the world, like I’m too tall. And I even went as far as researching. Top CrossFit Athlete Heights, so I could prove to myself that that was why I shouldn’t pursue my training to the level that I wanted to because I was too tall.

It’s like, wouldn’t I rather. Believe I could be, you know, as successful as possible, surrender the outcome and go full send into the, into the pursuit of it. Yes. But I even fell into that, like I’m, I’m too tall, I haven’t done it long enough. I, I don’t have a, you know, athletic, high school background. And I, for a good six to eight months, I sat in that place.

And to me, that’s, I’m being a victim. Same thing with, you know, this is business, but it’s also getting healthy. Like, people tell me, oh, I wish that I was as fit as you. Okay, well, I work out 10 hours a week. You can be as fit as me if you wanna be as fit as me. Work out 10 hours a week. You know, I wish that I, I wish that I had time to be healthy.

Why don’t you, A lot of times when I say these things, like, I think that the society’s response is, oh, you’re, you’re privileged. And I will acknowledge I grew up in definitely a, a privileged home for sure. But I think making people feel that way, like, oh, you can’t have that because you didn’t grow up privileged, is the biggest disservice we could ever do to somebody.

It actually angers me that we so much of society like is so focused on that. And when someone is really successful in the recent years, the response is like, oh, well they’re privileged. You know what that does? That tells all the other people who didn’t grow up like that. You can’t do it because you didn’t grow up like that.

1. We all can apply ourselves and build the skills and build the mindset and build the things necessary to get wherever we want. And I am gonna be the voice that goes, I believe in you. You can do whatever the hell you want, if you want it bad enough, and if you’re willing to apply yourself. So I have to note that because I know I’ll get that response like, well, you created the success because you’re privileged.

Okay, well. If you know my story, I created it from nothing, and I created it because I believed anything was possible because I didn’t listen to other people and because I applied myself relentlessly, like I think it’s important that, you know, in the beginning of my business, I worked until midnight. I, I worked every moment that I wasn’t with my newborn baby.

I lived in a house almost the size of my podcast studio when I started my business with no office and not even a real kitchen. That’s not an excuse for me, like being a 20-year-old mom, not an excuse who says it has to be an excuse. So the thing to sit with is how bad do you want it? Where’s the evidence?

What are the beliefs you’ve told yourself are true on why you can’t have it or why you don’t have it yet, and realize you. Are the 100% creator of your life and your reality. And when you realize this, and it, I get slapped in the face with it all the time because I will think thoughts like, I have young kids and so that means X, Y, Z, or I don’t have enough time, or everybody needs me.

Like that’s, that’s the subtle victim mentality. So you’re never gonna escape that. It’s catching it. And realizing if you are blaming anything outside of yourself for why you’re not where you wanna be, you get to say to starting today, I’m taking full accountability because now you have the power.

There’s no excuse. And when you have the power, it’s the, it’s the most freeing thing ever. So that’s what I have to say today on an unhinged Emily episode, and I truly believe. This is such a secret to success, and I think it’s like it’s just constantly getting out of our own way. Because when we are in a mindset of saying, oh, I, you know, I don’t have that because of this or this, or you know, I’ve been told it’s not possible to have a successful business, and young kids like we’re the problem.

Those beliefs are the problem. If you are not where you wanna be. It’s because you believe you shouldn’t be there, and then you’ve backed up and created evidence and actions that back that up. So change the belief of what’s possible. Challenge yourself. How bad do I want it? How could I show my actions even more?

And then you just relentlessly do that and you surrender that outcome because it’s gonna be bigger and better than you could have ever imagined yourself. All right everybody. Hopefully this lit a fire under you. Thank you so much for tuning in. I’ll talk to you next time.