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Have you built the life you wanted… and still don’t feel alive?

Sometimes the universe removes control so you can remember how to be present again.

In this episode, I’m reflecting on what 2025 showed me: overpacking our lives, structure vs aliveness, and CEO lessons I had to learn once more.

Key Takeaways

• You can get the same results without cramming your life
• Team and connection drive outcomes more than productivity alone
• Expansion requires capacity, not just ambition

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READ THE EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Emily Hirsh:

 Hello everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. I hope you all had a beautiful holiday. I know we’re still kind of in that weird, what day is it? What year is it? Timeframe. I hope you had a beautiful, unplugged present holiday, if that’s what you wanted. I did with my kids and it was amazing. We stayed home for Christmas.

We like to stay home and just let the kids play and be home and hang out and it’s, it’s always so special. And then by the time, you know, a few days after Christmas comes around, I’m like, all right, I’m, I am ready for routine again. I’m ready to clean my house, put away Christmas and get ready for the new year.

So that’s where I’m at. I thought it would be fun to do an episode, kind of like a reflection of 2025, but in the format of what I would tell myself a year ago after experiencing this year. And you know, I think, um. Experience is our greatest teacher. And so when you reflect on the year, I, I think don’t reflect on what you maybe didn’t accomplish or did accomplish.

It’s like, what did the experience of this year teach me? Because experience is feedback. So when something works or doesn’t work, um, you know, or we get feedback based off of like, we try something and then we learn how to do it better. We learn through doing as, as human beings. And so people, people are always, you know, so focused on like, what worked, what goal did I hit?

What goal did I not hit? I think it’s just as important to, to look at like. The experience of this year, what did it teach me and how did it change me? How did it shape me? Like sometimes we have to learn these lessons 100 times and then we slowly shift and evolve, and that’s, you know, some of the things that I wrote down.

It’s like, I was shown this a dozen times this year, but maybe I, maybe I got it now or maybe I’m gonna keep having to learn this lesson. So these are things I would tell myself a year ago. Based off of my experience of 2025 and the good, the bad, the hard, the ugly, the easy, the fun, all of it. What I learned during this year, and, and as I was sitting and writing this, I was like, it was such a blend of a year of the same and then a lot of change and also like.

Uh, well, I’ll get into it because it is one of my points, but it’s like a lot of refinement. Like I’ve, I’ve found myself the last several years, like, you know, you’ve, you’ve, you’ve gotten to the places that you’ve wanted to be in terms of like. The travel that I get to do and, and the freedom that I have and, and getting to train all the time and, you know, the hours I work and like how my life is structured is, is really my dream.

And then you get into like, okay, so how do I still feel alive? And I think that’s a theme for me going into 2026 is like, it’s great that this is my life and I’m so grateful for the routine and. The way that I can spend my time and the structure, but how do I feel more alive? You know, at the beginning of your business and the beginning of things, when it’s like everything’s new and exciting and you feel so alive because you don’t know what you’re doing, but you’re like doing all the things.

I miss that feeling sometimes, and some of you might be there and it’s like, enjoy it because you think it’s really hard. And there are things I never would wanna go back to during that time, but. You are so alive. ’cause it’s also new and then it’s easy to fall into doing the same things. And so I think that’s one of my lessons this year.

So let’s get into it. These are things I would tell myself. Go back one year, go. First one is you will fall into and out of states where you overpack your schedule. You become addicted again to every minute counting and packing it in and constantly rushing, and then something will pull you out of that, usually a trip or a holiday or a different state.

In different environment and you realize it doesn’t have to be that way and you get the same amount of things done, but in a more regulated state. And I, I learned this lesson many times this year where I would catch myself and, and I don’t always catch myself when I’m doing it, but I would catch myself being in a state of like cram packed life from business to kids to training and where it’s like every minute of my day.

Counted. And there’s a part of me that loves that. There is a part of me that’s like, I feel like a badass when I am in that state. Like, look how much I can do in a day. And then something pulls me out of it. Usually I go on a trip, I have to change my environment and I realize like, oh, you did it again.

And that’s not sustainable, and that’s also not really what you want. And it’s not about doing less. It’s about. How regulated you, you are when you do it, and giving yourself just enough of the space so that there is breathing room. So yes, you know, I, I still accomplish a ton in my week, but I know when, when there’s something that I’m not gonna be able to get to because I’m unwilling to pack myself so full that I can’t even breathe, that I can’t even live.

So. Emily a year ago, you’re gonna learn that lesson over and over again. And you probably thought a year ago that you, you figured it out. You probably thought you had already figured this out and solved it, but you’re gonna continue to learn that. And maybe I think next year you may learn it more, but you, it’s a, I think, a life lesson for me, and I think I get faster at catching it.

The next thing is you will learn that these two things. Are never a waste of time, energy, or money to pour into. And you will learn that through experience of seeing what worked this last year. And those two things are team and content and they’re also the focus for me going into this next year, like these are my top focuses.

Next year is content. Volume, quality, depth, all the resources spent on content, my personal time, the company’s time and energy and money. We’re hiring a role specific to content. We’re gonna be supporting clients with it. Like that is a big focus and I learned that this year, um, and really shifted how I created content in some ways.

Um, and just the, the actual intention behind it. And then team. I think it’s easy. If you’re like me, you may resonate with this. Like I don’t enjoy running a team. I wouldn’t say I enjoy it. I love the outcome of having an incredible team and watching what is possible with an incredible team. But I wouldn’t say it comes natural to me to want to pour time and energy into connecting with a team, connecting with team members, team building things.

All of that that can come with leadership and managing. And I think this, this year I learned anytime that I poured more energy into that, there was a positive outcome. And if I’m being honest with you, my brain oftentimes sees those things as a waste of time. And I don’t just do that with team, I do it with like friends.

I don’t, I very rarely like want to make the time to. I don’t wanna say connect with people, that sounds so bad, but like I think, you know, it is like, I don’t, I don’t make a lot of time. I think I shared on here like. Uh, friends was a weakness for me because I don’t make a lot of time for dinners or lunches or events or connecting with friends.

Um, there’s very few people in my life that I do that with, and so I think if I’m being honest with team, my brain views that as like a, um, it’s just not, I don’t see that connection as like a, a productive thing, but that’s completely wrong. It is, and the more that I pour into that, the more that I’m.

Available and present on team meetings. Um, I’m actually gonna be leaning towards more of an in-person team in the coup next couple years. Um, anytime an energy I pour into team always pays off and is like one of the top things. So my themes for this next year are content and team, and what I would tell myself a year ago is you’re gonna learn that out of everything you do, putting your energy into these two areas pays off the most in your business.

And the next thing I would tell myself is you think you crave routine and structure and a perfectly curated week in life and day, but really you wanna feel alive And this year your soul, your, you’re gonna take yourself on a journey where. You have the structure and the routine and your day is extremely structured in your week, and things are so predictable and the universe is gonna rip a lot of that away.

And you’re gonna be in an environment where there’s a lot of new, new routine, new gym, which is a big deal for me because I spend 10 hours a week there. Different podcast studio I’ll be moving to. Like you’re gonna experience a big shift. From the way your days in your week looked at the beginning of the year to now, and you’re gonna realize that it’s what you actually needed.

Because what you needed more than anything is to feel alive. And so going into this next year, that’s my word of the year. My word of the year is alive. I want to feel alive in every area of my life. And you don’t feel alive when you become in the predictable day to day. Same. And our brains crave that, but our soul hates it.

We are here to experience and there is such a magic in the unknown. Meaning going to a different coffee shop, going to a different place for lunch, going to a different gym, meeting friends in a different place, a different routine, a different schedule with kids, family life, like all of these things kind of happened to me quickly towards the end of this year, and I realized, holy shit, like I feel so alive.

Yeah, there’s challenges in this and there’s discomfort, but. Everything feels so alive because there’s like freshness and newness and excitement, and I think there’s this balance because as entrepreneurs sometimes we get in this place where we’re like bored or we’re like experiencing the mundane, we blow up our business and we’re like, new offer, new business.

Let’s do this thing. And it’s because we need to feel that. And when I was talking about at the beginning of this podcast episode, it’s like you feel that. In your business, in the beginning of your business, you feel it. When you’re launching something new, you feel it when there’s any newness, because newness has the unknown to it.

It requires you to come alive because you have to be present. You have to be present to the experience. ’cause you don’t know what’s gonna happen and you’re like in real time experiencing it. When you create an environment in a life where it’s so predictable. There’s no, you don’t need to be alive. You, you don’t need to.

You can just like, it’s like autopilot and how many of us are experiencing life that way? I think like so many people do, and entrepreneurs, you know, we’re pretty, we’re pretty like we, that’s like death to us. There’s a lot of people in the world that get up. Same exact routine, same exact commute, same exact job, same exact thing every single day.

And I think when an entrepreneur, especially, I think anybody but an entrepreneur especially gets into that, it feels like we now have a job and a very predictable, mundane day to day. And that’s just not what we want. And so, you know, a question to really sit with is like. Where can I, can I shift my environment to bring myself to feel more alive?

And that doesn’t mean you have to go on a trip or you have to do something crazy. It’s like actually, how do you create that in the day to day moments like? And I also think it goes back to the first thing I said, like, in order to do that, you have to have some space to have capacity for that. Because that could look like, you know, I thought that my day was going to be consist of this, but I just was hit with this inspiration and I’m gonna give myself an hour to record this podcast, to record this video, to brainstorm this new offer, or whatever it is.

Or I’m driving along and I see this new coffee shop that opened, and I’m gonna go stop there instead of the one I go to every single day that I know, and it is comfortable, and I do love it. I’m gonna go get a different experience. I’m gonna try a different routine. I’m gonna change up my week. ’cause how do you know that tho?

That you won’t like all of that better if you stay in the same, and so the unknown is going to slowly win your trust this year, and you still have a long way to go. But I think for me, like God, the universe was like, we’re gonna force this onto you so that you realize this is what you actually wanted.

Another thing I would tell myself is you will become more grounded in who you are. And confident in who you are and your values and your beliefs and who you wanna be as a person. And as you do that, it will give you more and more permission not to care what other people think. And you will have situations this year where you have relationship shift and you have to stand rooted in, I know who I am and my values and who I wanna surround myself with, and that.

Deep understanding and clarity and confidence will give you the confidence to not care to separate other people’s reactions or non reactions or whatever from what it means about you. And you will learn that lesson many times this year and it will create a lot more power for you in your leadership and your content and how you show up as a person.

The next thing I’d tell myself is your retreats and your events will be the most profitable part of your business. And that was cool. I actually just, uh, met with my accountant and we looked at the whole business, the different offers, and, um, my retreats and my events are by far the. The most profitable part of the business.

Um, they’re not the biggest like gross revenue driver when you look at all of our offers, but they’re the most profitable and they’re also my favorite. So that was kind of cool of like, how can you do more. Of your favorite thing, which for me is in-person experiences. My in-person retreats, um, you know, are very high touch luxury experiences and then are two times a year live events, which are just my favorite because every single person in that room leaves change and leaves.

A new person, a new version of themselves, and then therefore has a new business and, and new opportunities. And so looking at like, wow, the thing that you love the most, that you’re the most passionate about, that you feel the most in your purpose about is also the most profitable part of the business.

That’s alignment. If I don’t, if I don’t, you know, see anything else of it like that is, um, just a, just a sign of continue to follow those things that bring you alive. Like my retreats and my events make me feel so alive because they are me in my purpose. And I, I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like this flow state that I don’t even have to try.

And it’s so impactful and it’s cool that the numbers kind of back that up. Um, I would also tell myself, you will continue to think that more is better and continue to learn the lesson, that sometimes it’s not, you know, this came up many times in the year of like, let’s do more offers, let’s do more launches, let’s do more of this, more of that.

And sometimes that might be the answer. Like sometimes it might be, but it’s not always the answer, and you will continue to learn that. Sometimes the answer is the pause and then the simplifying and really focusing on what is working, how do we do more of that versus pile on and create overwhelm. You know, I think a lot of you’ll relate to this, but I definitely can thrive and almost feel more comfortable in a state of overwhelm.

’cause I’m distracted and I feel productive and there’s, you know, a lot to like put my brain to use and I am continually given the lesson of, a lot of times the answer comes not from more and, and definitely not from a state of overwhelm, but a place of clarity. Now the thing with this. You know, and it is like, it’s this fine line.

’cause there’s nuances there where I really think there’s like such a, a movement of entrepreneurs that are like, oh, well we don’t wanna work very hard. Or like, everything needs to be like so zen and so peaceful. And that’s not. What the goal is, I don’t think the goal is to be able to have the capacity for, for big, for chaos, for overwhelm, for, for the natural state of beans that come with a large company and big team, a lot of customers, audience revenue, the pressure, all of that.

And to still be grounded in it. And when you are. That state of like, we gotta do this and we gotta do that, and we gotta do this. And like that state of kind of frazzled, overwhelm and like reactiveness, you’re not grounded. So the goal is not to say, oh, I, unless this is what you want, which is fine, but the goal is not to say I want, you know, a smaller business, less team.

I don’t wanna make a lot of money because I don’t ever wanna be stressed. No, the goal is capacity. How do you have the capacity for as big as you wanna take it? Like I’m talking, I wanna go eight, nine figures. I need to have the capacity to be in that environment because naturally with that comes team clients.

At volume, you’ll have more problems, more money, more problems. How do you stay grounded in that? And so catching yourself when you go into that reactive and frazzled energy, pausing and grounding, and the more you do that, the more capacity you build and then you’re able to hold the bigger goals. So that’s a lesson I feel that I’ve been continually given so that I could continually build the capacity to hold what’s next.

I would also tell myself, you will realize many times throughout the year that you are currently living your dream, and then you will have the opportunity a few times to be in a room with entrepreneurs who are. At a, at a higher level than you, revenue, lifestyle, whatever you wanna say. Not like, not from a place of comparison, but just like, wow, you know, you know when your environment is all like you, you are the top sometimes of your environment of like what’s possible.

And then you forget that there is infinite number of possibilities. So you’ll realize many times you’re living your dream and then your dream will grow. And your dream will be challenged and you’ll wrestle with, is this just because I want more or is this really my dream? And what scares the shit outta me around my dream?

And what are all of the, um, you know, doubts and fears when I really state that dream? And you’ll have the opportunity to be in a room that challenges your perspective on what’s possible and reminds you. Anything’s possible, but also you have permission to dream bigger even when you have quote made it and you’re living a dream life that you could have never imagined 10 years ago.

There gets to be an expansion to that, and not from a place of, I need more, not from an ego place, but from a purpose filled. I am here to experience and expand and naturally that impact and that experience and that expansion is going to mean more money and more impact. But that’s the byproduct of challenging your current status quo.

We all have our current status quo, and you have to be really careful, like are you only surrounding yourself with people where. You, you are the top of what’s possible and, and the bigger you grow your business, your impact, you know, and, and what’s possible. The harder it is to get in rooms of people who are challenging that, and it can be really easy to feel like, wow, like I really like kind of, you know, push the limit of what’s possible.

And, and when you really think about it, you’re like, obviously not. You know, like, look, look at what’s possible out there, but. Your inner circle matters like the people that you let have input and feedback and influence on you on a day-to-day basis. And so for me, I really did wrestle with this this year of like, I think that that, that is part of why I oscillated between not feeling alive is it was like.

What’s next? You know, like so much of my life is my dream. What’s the next dream? And can I even, can I have that dream? Like of course you can. You know? And again, not from a place of ego of like, I need to just keep chasing more, but more so expansion and like, what am I here for in this life? We only get this life.

This, this version. The last thing I’ll tell myself is you will realize that mastering your emotions, your beliefs, and your thoughts is the key to everything. I went to two Joe Dispenza events this year and it changed my life, and I would say that that probably was the biggest impact that I, I experienced this year was a deep embodied, knowing that.

I am in charge of my reality. And, and that translates into my coaching, into my mastermind, my retreats and, and how I impact others. But I will learn to love meditation, man. If I would’ve told myself a year ago, you will spend one week and meditate for 35 hours, I would’ve been like, no, you will not. But I did that twice and developed my daily meditation practice and, and really.

Really learned. In in a much deeper way, like I knew this at the beginning of the year, but in a much more embodied way that your feelings dictate your beliefs, which dictate your thoughts, which dictate your actions. All of that is your identity and it that is not set in stone. You get to decide how you wanna show up every single day and taking control and power.

Over. That is the most empowering thing you could do and will lead to anything you want. So that’s another thing I would’ve told myself, like, you’re gonna go on a journey this year and learn this in this the deepest way you could have imagined and it’s gonna change your life. Those are all the things I would tell myself.

Maybe you got a few golden nuggets from that. Maybe do this exercise for yourself, like really reflect on. You a year ago. And what would you have told yourself? Because the experience of this year is so valuable. Experience is our greatest teacher. It, it is what creates our wisdom, you know? And I have just as much appreciation for the hard and the painful.

Um, and it’s scary. And the things that didn’t work is I do the things that did. I actually think I have more gratitude. For the things that didn’t work how I wanted them to, or the challenge and the discomfort, the fear, the pain. I have more gratitude for that than the good I really do because it changes you more, it challenges you more and therefore it changes you more.

And oftentimes it’s like us humans, like we actually need pain. To make a change. And a lot of times we wait until there is an experienced pain or discomfort and that could be something didn’t work out, you felt like you failed, you felt like you know you, you got rejected, whatever. Like those things, when they happen, you’re met with a choice of like hide from it or face it.

And when you choose to face it, the growth is so much more than it could be from the good. From the comfortable, you know, I of course like had so much joy and happiness and went on an incredible trip this last summer with our family that will be hard to top next year. But all of those things I’m immensely grateful for and I think that I’m more grateful for the hard because it is what transformed me this year.

So here’s to another year. Another year of All In and the Unknown, my word of the year is alive. I wanna feel alive and I feel most alive when I’m not controlling everything, when I’m trusting, and when I’m leaving the space for the unknown. All right, everybody, have a beautiful New Year’s and I’ll talk to you next week.