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Your intuition already told you. Everything else after that is just negotiation with fear.

In this episode, I talk about the discipline to do things you don’t want to do, and why that ability can change everything in your business.

Key Takeaways

• Why motivation will never be enough to build what you want
• The real reason action feels so hard
• The daily choice you must make to build your future

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READ THE EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Emily Hirsh:

If you think that successful people are motivated, you are wrong. Motivation cannot be what drives you. It cannot be, Do it anyways, even when you’re uncomfortable and practicing that, showing yourself that you can do that. And when you do that, there’s such a big dopamine release.

I do think there’s an element where every day you have to make the decision of who you’re gonna be and how you’re gonna show up. You have to face the things that you don’t wanna do, and then you have to do them anyways. Your intuition already told you. Everything else after that is just negotiation with fear.

Embodied CEOs don’t chase trends. They pave the way they lead from within. Move by purpose, unshaken by noise. When you are the source, you do not need permission.

Hello everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. I hope you guys are having an amazing week and feeling ready for the last month of quarter one, which is wild. We’re hitting the point in Austin where the weather is perfect ’cause it’s spring, but is short lived until summer. So I’m soaking it up.

And figuring out what our summer escape the heat plans are.

I don’t know, but I feel like this year is gonna not be great. We’ll see, but it has been in a lot of places, not a very cold winter. So I think that, I don’t know, I think that means, isn’t it like La Nina or something? El Nina, la Nina? I don’t know, but I’m planning some fun stuff for the summer to get out of the heat as much as possible.

And right now enjoying the weather and enjoying the spring. So in today’s episode, I wanna talk about something that was inspired from a conversation with a friend of mine and just around how they struggle with knowing that they need to do something and knowing that, especially in business, like knowing that if they do this, if they create this content or they, execute something, it will create success. Or it is at least what they should be doing to move forward momentum. But because they haven’t found the full success that they want, yet they’re lacking that like reinforcement, that momentum, and then they don’t end up doing it. And it got me thinking about something, which is the power of having the.

I guess discipline, but also devotion to do things that you don’t necessarily want to do but are in alignment with who you wanna be or the future you wanna build. And I think there’s this like big. Gap there is the high performers and the people who can push themselves to do any anything, even if it’s not necessarily in alignment or healthy for them, and sometimes lead to burnout.

I fall in that category like naturally, I am somebody who I can push myself to a very big limit. And I actually love the process of overcoming something really hard and it’s one of the reasons I love CrossFit so much is like I will have a workout that I see that’s this is going to suck, this is going to hurt, and then doing it, and in it, it sucks and my brain is going.

Quit. This is too hard, let’s stop this, and then I finish it and it’s like there’s a dopamine hit to that. It’s like when you finish it, you’re proving to yourself that you can do something hard. Now, the shadow side to that personality component. Is I can push myself too hard and I can get injured.

I can get sick, I can get hurt, I can burn out. I can do something that is not healthy. Now, I’m really grateful for this part of me because it has allowed me to build a lot of incredible things in my life because I am I actually enjoy facing discomfort and overcoming discomfort, and I am good at putting myself in situations where I can overcome that.

Then you have people who are very good at listening to their. Intuition and their body and you know what they need, but they. The shadow side to that is sometimes their brain convinces them that they don’t need to do something that really would be in the best interest and push their comfort zone.

And I think that, it’s proven in so many ways that humans are meant to be uncomfortable, and we have lost that as a society. There’s the book, the the Discomfort Crisis, I think it’s called. I read it several years ago and it’s so good. It’s about. Essentially we have a life today that is so comfortable from our houses to access to unlimited food, to our cars, to electronics, like the, you can live a life today where you are almost never uncomfortable.

You are always comfortable and. And people oftentimes when faced with a challenge or faced with a conflict, they choose the route of comfort. They choose that easy route. So there’s a big part of business in life where you have to be able to decipher when are the moments that it’s I don’t wanna do this.

This is uncomfortable, this is scary, and then you do it anyways. And that is a skill that is so necessary. And so I was talking to this friend and I was like, this is something that I actually, it’s funny because as I’m saying this, I’m like, my opposite is that this friend of mine is so good at just like.

Going with the flow and trusting and listening to herself and all these things. And I’m like, I’m not great at those things. It’s probably why we’re friends. I’m like, I’ll push through, I’ll get this, I’ll be relentless, and I’m not good at going with the flow. And I think that, like, when you have that strength, you also may have that weakness.

But anyways, this friend was sharing, sometimes I’m like, really? I’ll be on a. A time of getting things done and being productive and doing what I need to do and recording the videos I need and doing these things. And then I’ll hit a point where I just am like I don’t really wanna do this what’s the point in this?

And I’ll convince myself not to do it, and I’ll distract myself with other things. And I was like why do you do that? What is that? How is that serving you? That’s one of my favorite questions to ask in these conversations. My mentor Samson asks this all the time, and I love it because it’s we think, we’re like, these are these things are bad that we’re doing.

I don’t wanna do this, I don’t wanna show up this way. And we judge ourselves for it. But the reality is deep down, we’re doing it because it is serving us in some way. It’s protecting us in some way. And they were like I think I’m doing it because if I don’t. Take the actions and put myself out there, then I can’t be rejected and then I can’t feel the shame of not being successful.

And I’m like, that’s it right there. Shame. Shame is one of the strongest emotions that we run from. So first of all, like understanding that, how does that serve you? How does it serve you to tell yourself, I don’t really feel like doing this and who cares and I don’t wanna do this today.

And then you’re like, yeah. Your brain reinforces it. Like you’re right, you should take a break and. There’s a line, right? Because if you are that personality that really is more go with the flow that really is relaxed and very in tune with yourself, that’s great. But there are times when you have to tell yourself, I don’t wanna do this.

I don’t wanna record this video, I don’t wanna do this webinar. I don’t wanna host a live launch. I don’t want to x, y, z. But I know that is in the best. When I really sit down, I know that is in the best interest of my business, of my future, of who I wanna become. Is it in alignment? And if it is, you just do it anyways.

And it sounds so simple, but the concept of be, feel afraid or feel uncomfortable, or feel nervous, and then do it anyways. So powerful. And I think especially when it comes to things like posting content or trying something new or launching something so many things like even in, in my personal life, there’s things where I really don’t like an example.

Last week I was in Colorado. It was cold. I don’t like going to new gyms because I don’t know anyone and I don’t know where stuff is. And just that process of like new, I don’t like it. I didn’t wanna work out. I had a whole list of things and it was like, I just put myself in a mode where it’s put on your workout clothes, get your water, get in the car, and drive to the gym.

That’s it. Do it anyways. You don’t wanna do it. You could think of a million excuses and you could probably get, I could probably 100% get myself to a place where I’m like, oh, you deserve a week off, and it’s okay because you train all the time. But I knew at the end of the day, if I didn’t show up for myself in that way, I would be disappointed.

And I knew that the best version of myself showed up anyways, and I was so happy after I had a great workout and I was so glad that I did it. But you ha there are moments where you have to put yourself in that situation where you’re like, just go through the steps. What is the next step? And do it anyways.

So what are those things in your life that you avoid, that you put off, that you’re inconsistent with, that you don’t show up and that the best and highest version of you would do it. So it’s not pushing you out of alignment. That’s the difference, right? If I was injured in Colorado, if I was sick, and I was like, you have to go work out because if you don’t, then you don’t get to check the box and blah, blah, blah.

That’d be a different story. But in the best interest of myself that day it was going to the gym. In business. There are days that I wake up and I’m like, I have a full packed calendar of meetings. I’ve gotta do this. I’ve gotta do this. I have zero white space today. I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna do it.

And then I pull myself together and I’m like, this is the reality of having a business. You sometimes have these days and you’re gonna be grateful. Because you are, and find the gratitude for the fact that you do have a full calendar, that it means you have clients, that it means you have customers, that it means you have a team, that it means you have this incredible opportunity to serve.

And you’re gonna show up and you are going to be fully present. And I really talk to myself like this. This is how sometimes in the morning. Before I get outta bed, I lay there for a minute and I’m like, how am I gonna choose to show up today? I think about my day and I’m like, here’s the game plan.

I will actually literally talk to myself like that. Here’s the game plan today. First of all, I’m so grateful for the packed calendar. I’m so grateful. I don’t, there are things that I am actually like very introverted. And so things that take energy from me are calls and or doing like a training for somebody else or going to an event, an in-person event in Austin, and I’ll know that I should be there, that I want to be there, that the best version of myself would be there.

But I will convince myself, oh no, you’re too busy or you can’t do that, and so I have to talk myself through that. The key is what’s in alignment. You’ve gotta, in order to get to what’s in alignment, you gotta tune the brain out. ’cause the brain’s really tricky. The brain is really tricky at convincing you that something isn’t in alignment when it really is and giving you all the reasons why.

And one thing that I do. That helps a lot is I think about either myself at the end of the day or I think about myself, in a month from now or a year from now, I love this exercise depending on what I’m dealing with, right? Like the gym workout would be like, at the end of the day, if I’m thinking of like a bigger scenario, a bigger decision in business, I’ll think of a year ahead, five years ahead, and I picture myself then and I think back to the decision and I go, if I looked back on this moment.

Would I be disappointed in myself if I didn’t follow through or would I be fine? Would I be okay with it? Would I know that was probably not the right choice? I saw this reel the other day that was like, close your eyes and picture yourself at 85 years old and picture, picture like. Picture that you’re not happy with things and you, you’re not happy with where your life ended up, which I don’t love that.

It’s like, why even put that out there? Whatever. That’s what the real said. And then it was like, now you’re 85 years old and someone comes and says, I’m gonna give you an opportunity to go back to your however old self, so me, 31, and change or make a different decision. Or change the trajectory of your life or whatever.

And it’s now open your eyes and like you’re being given that opportunity right now. And I really do. I think it’s important to think that way. And so when you’re weighing a business decision, like there are things that are opportunities that come my way that are scary or I don’t know if it’s the right thing, is it gonna pull my focus?

Or is it in alignment? Sometimes. Sometimes the noise in our head is so loud that we lose sight of what is in alignment. And I think I fast forward, I go, okay, I’m gonna picture myself at 40 years old. I’m gonna picture myself 10 years from now. Would I be disappointed if I said no to this? Would I feel like I missed out?

If it’s a smaller decision, I would picture myself a year from now. Would I look back on myself and say, man, you should have showed up in this way. You should have done this. And that helps me get, make decisions because the reality is this, like you already know. You already know what is in alignment.

You already know how you wanna show up. You already know what you wanna build. You already know the answer. You just either forgot you’re waiting for permission, you are scared, or you want somebody else to tell you that is the right thing or the wrong thing. You wanna outsource your power. Because that feels safer.

If somebody else tells me, if somebody else gives me permission, then I don’t have to take the accountability. If X, Y, Z, I had hats made at my live event, you already know. And I think one of the greatest superpowers that you can have as an entrepreneur is connecting back to that. Connecting back to what you already know.

There’s a quote from this guy, I think it’s Matt Cook I love his account on Instagram and it said, your intuition already told you. Everything else after that is just negotiation with fear. So when you are faced back to my original story, when you are faced with these things that come up in your life where you’re like, I continually fall back into not showing up how I want.

I do think there’s an element where every day you have to make the decision of who you’re gonna be and how you’re gonna show up. You have to face the things that you don’t wanna do, and then you have to do them anyways. There are so many days that I am like, I don’t really feel like recording content.

I don’t, right now my studio is like outta the way of where I normally drive. I’m moving it this week, but it’s outta the way. And I could tell myself like, we’ll just release a podcast this week. We’ll just release one. It’ll be fine. Or we’ll do it late, or whatever. But I sit with that, even if it’s for a few seconds, and I’m like, no.

What is the decision? The most aligned version of me would make. Okay, we’re gonna drive to the podcast studio. We’re gonna use the only white space that we had today to record, and we’re gonna record an awesome podcast, and we’re gonna be grateful that we did, and we’re gonna be grateful that we have this opportunity.

And so if you think that successful people are motivated, you are wrong. Motivation cannot be what drives you. It cannot be, I like the word devotion because to me, and when I was talking to this friend, it’s yes, identify why you’re not showing up that way. And then it’s every single day you’ve gotta make the decision of what is it that I need to do and how can I make sure I show up that way Do it anyways, even when you’re uncomfortable and practicing that, showing yourself that you can do that. And when you do that, there’s such a big dopamine release. And then what is the bigger purpose? Because that has to be what drives you. It can’t be, it can’t be money. When I think about my podcast for example, what is the bigger purpose of what drives me to come and record when I don’t wanna record and show up as the best version of myself to create a piece of content?

Because if you think I’m motivated to walk into my studio every day to record a podcast, I’m not. I’m not, sometimes I don’t know what I wanna record it on. I don’t feel like it. I don’t wanna look good enough for a podcast. I don’t wanna drive to all the things. Okay. But I know that I’m devoted to being consistent for my audience.

To having an impact that is as big as I am here to have. I don’t know what that number is. I don’t know what that looks like. I don’t know and need to know where that’s gonna take me. But I know that through consistency and through expression and through content, I’m gonna be able to build that impact.

And I’ve committed to a level of consistency. And so no matter what, for the most part, I’m gonna show up and I’m gonna. That’s the devotion that I have. That’s the choice that I am making. That is who I wanna be. That is the CEO and the leader that I wanna be. And you can apply this to so many parts of your life.

Like what is the bigger thing? What is the bigger thing driving your business? What is the bigger thing driving, your health, how you wanna show up. And when we have that bigger thing, there are then sacrifices that we have to make that become worth it. Somebody asked me this at one point of how do I forget the exact question, but it was like, make sacrifices when I have the kind of value of you can have it all, and my value of you can have it all in your life does not equal.

There’s never sacrifices that I make. There are consistent sacrifices that I make in saying no to things. Recognizing that I can’t have this and this at the same time, however, they are sacrifices that I consciously make knowing that it’s going to get me something, the next thing I want or it’s gonna get me, I make the sacrifice of let me think of an example.

So I make the sacrifice of, in some ways. Maybe growing my business to where it could be because I refuse to sacrifice my training or time with my kids. My non-negotiable amount, if I worked 10 to 20 more hours a week, because I work about 20 to 25, if I work 10 to 20 more hours a week, do you think that the business would be making more money?

Probably. Probably. Am I willing to sacrifice my training or not missing any of my kids’ activities? No. So I sacrifice the time in the business. When I look at, the business, what are the things that I sacrifice? I sacrifice sometimes doing things. I don’t wanna do a call, a training. There are sometimes things that I’m not like, oh, I’m so pumped up to do this.

But coming back to the gratitude, coming back to the purpose and realizing what’s in alignment with me is so important. And I go back to the very beginning of my business. When, like 10 years ago when Facebook Live just came out and like creating content was so new for me. And if you really wanted to find it, you probably could find the videos like way back.

And I was one terrible at creating content, two terrified of it, I also had, I was very new, I was young, I was new at creating business and you guys probably some of you can relate to this when you have half the people who follow you on social media are like your high school friends or your friends and your family and you’re like, oh my God, if I put myself out there like that, like they’re gonna think I’m crazy.

’cause it’s so weird. Especially back then with Facebook Live. And I would go in my car at the time because I didn’t have an office. We had a tiny house with my son who was a baby, so it wasn’t quiet. And I would go in my car and I would go live on Facebook and some of those lives, like I can hear in my breathing that I was so nervous.

But I would hit the button and I would do it anyways because I committed to creating the content, I committed to showing up, I committed to practicing that. And I think in the moment I didn’t really know. I didn’t really say oh, I’m committing to this to practice content. ’cause one day I’m gonna have a podcast.

Like I didn’t know that was the journey, but I did know that I needed to show up that way in order to build what I wanted to build. And I can remember like sitting there with my phone in the car and pushing the button and just going. And so I want you guys to think about today, like what are the things in your business and your life anywhere where it would serve you to just do it anyways and to build that muscle?

And if you were to ask me like one of the biggest contributing factors to my success, I think it is this like I said, there’s a shadow side to this. It can go too far and I can end up sick and I can end up injured and I can end up pushing myself to where I shouldn’t have pushed myself. And I have to work on that.

However, my ability to push through discomfort to face, let’s not even say push through. I don’t even like the word push through to face discomfort. To sit face to face with discomfort in something I don’t wanna do and do it anyways and be relentless with that has created so much success in my life, in my business, in my training.

I had natural births. How do you think I did it? Like I didn’t wanna do that, but I knew that was the most in alignment with what I wanted, how I wanted to bring my kids in the world, and I was willing to face that pain. And it was a matter of one contraction at a time. We’re doing it like we are gonna do it, and most of the time also the anticipation of whatever it is you don’t wanna do is so much worse than the actual thing.

Isn’t that the truth? I feel like anything that I’m like, oh, it’s gonna be terrible. I don’t wanna do it. I’m dreading it and then I do it and it’s not as bad. So what are the things, maybe start with just one or two. That if you became consistent with you became focused on facing that discomfort, moving through that discomfort and it, and on the other side of that is in alignment with who you wanna be and how do you every day get up and go, I don’t feel like doing this, but we’re gonna do it anyways.

And you’re gonna realize like it is actually, I’m pretty sure a proven dopamine hit that when you face something you don’t wanna do. And then you do it anyways. On the other side of that is a massive dopamine spike. It’s why people like me love accomplishing hard workouts. Love facing a workout and not wanting to do it.

And like I, it’s so sick, but I secretly love it so much. Like I’ll be in the middle of a workout that I’m like, there was one like a week and a half ago that I almost cried in the middle of the workout. I was like, this is so horrible. I can’t finish this. You get in your head, you’re like, I have five minutes left.

It’s been this long. All those things, like if you’re a runner, you also know it’s like the game of I’ve been running for this long and I have this much more to go. But when you get to the other side of that, you feel like just so accomplished. ’cause you prove to yourself that you can do hard things, that you can face discomfort, that you can overcome that voice inside of you that’s stop, we shouldn’t do this.

You don’t need to do this. Like you, if you think I don’t have that voice, I have that voice. I just have the willpower to say that voice doesn’t run the show. So Where is that in your life? Where is that in your business? And I want you to step it up this week and then it’s gotta become a consistent practice.

But the more you do it, the more you’re going to build the confidence that you can do it. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in today and I’ll talk to you next week.